Applause Please! British Newspaper Editor Wants to Ban Clapping to Protect People With Anxiety

Oh. My God. Does it get any more pathetic than this? Ellen C. Scott, editor of the British version of the Metro newspaper, appeared on "Good Morning Britain" yesterday... to tell her fellow Brits that they have to stop clapping in theaters.

Why? Well, because some sad little souls suffer from "anxiety or sensitivity to loud sounds." And so, instead of encouraging them to get over their phobia, we just have to protect them and make sure they'll never -- never! -- be faced with any loud noises whatsoever.

I can't deal with this nonsense any longer. We are now at a place where we have to stop clapping because some pathetic, frightened little chickens may be scared when we make a noise louder than a whisper?

Oh. My. God. I'm THIS close to asking someone -- anyone -- to just shoot me in the face so I do not have to deal with these ridiculous things any longer.

What makes this even worse is the very fact that the Oxford University Student Union has indeed banned clapping already! Oxford! That's where all of Britain's supposedly superior minds are educated. And those very same, superior (ahahahaha!) students believe that it's terrible to clap, just because some pathetic little millennial or Gen Z "intellectual" may be frightened.

This is beyond belief. The most determined, passionate enemy of the West wouldn't have made this up ten years ago... yet, this is the reality in which we now live. Millennials have truly completely lost it. We have to pretend that men can have monthly periods, we have to respond with outrage when a man doesn't want to date a fake-woman with a pen*s, and now we can't even clap in theaters anymore.

Enough is enough. This is where I -- a Millennial myself! -- check out.