AOC Narrates Screechy Green New Deal Cartoon

Even Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez's biggest fans have to admit that the February rollout of her "Green New Deal" could've gone more smoothly. She put out a FAQ that talked about banning all the airplanes and farting cows, and when everybody laughed at her, she came up with some ridiculous excuses. Most recently she claimed the FAQ was just a rough draft that was never meant to go public, blaming its release on "a staffer that had a really bad day at work." This is a weird claim, because that was over two months ago and she still hasn't put up the "real" FAQ.

But now we know why. She's been too busy coming up with something new for all her AOColytes: a cartoon. Yaaas kween!

WARNING: Over 7 Minutes of AOC's Voice

"You can't be what you can't see." I assume this is true, because I don't know anything at all about history.

If you couldn't sit through the whole cartoon, and I can hardly blame you, here's a summary: "GLOBAL WARMING, WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE, CAPITALISM BAD, SOCIALISM GOOD, I'M THE FIRST WOMAN WHO HAS EVER DONE ANYTHING, GIVE DEMOCRATS ALL YOUR MONEY AND FREEDOM. (ALSO, THIS IS JUST LIKE WWII OR SOMETHING.)"

We've only got 12 years left. How will we explain to our grandchildren how the world ended before they were even born? We need to stop being scared of the future, and start being afraid of events that haven't happened yet.

Of course, AOC won't do anything to reduce her own carbon footprint. After all, she's just "living in the world." But at least she can scold the rest of us to abandon modern life and revert to living in caves.

Cute cartoon, kid. Now go get Mommy to put it up on the fridge.

P.S. I've been trying to figure out why AOC's voice sounds so familiar there, and I think I found it...