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[WATCH] If Joe Biden Was a 'Gilligan's Island' Character, Which One Would He Be?

I’m sure I could’ve come up with a more dated reference if I’d really put my mind to it. Which Marx Brothers foil would Joe Biden be? Which villain from The Shadow would Biden be? If Joe Biden visited the farm on Green Acres, how quickly would he set it on fire while losing a debate with Hank Kimball? Biden might actually remember them, which would be a bonus.

Gilligan’s Island was a 1960s TV show in which seven people — representing the Seven Deadly Sins, according to some — were stranded on an island after their three-hour boat tour off Hawaii got involuntarily extended by a massive storm. The castaways spent every episode trying to escape the island, and in most episodes, loveable doofus Gilligan (Bob Denver) would somehow screw it all up.

But there were a handful of episodes in which someone else screwed everything up for the stranded seven. It was never Skipper (Alan Hale), Ginger (Tina Louise), or Mary Ann (Dawn Wells), it was usually a guest character. The castaways would pin all their hopes on that guest to save them, only to finish up the episode right back where they started — stranded, listening to their radio.

I can’t help but think of one of those guest failures every time I see Joe Biden take any action or make any statement regarding foreign policy. He’s simply not very bright and has never been seen as a leader. Just this past week, Biden blundered into fights with Germany, India, and Russia. Two of those are our allies, and we need India to counter any China-Russia axis in Asia. His unforced blast at Putin caused an international row.

Back in 1987, Ronald Reagan identified Biden as a demagogue. That reflects Reagan’s ability to read character accurately, and just how long Joe Biden has been in office. By the time Reagan jotted that down, Biden had already been in politics, failing to solve any problems, for about 14 years. Everything since then about Washington has changed, except Biden. He’s still there, still failing to solve any problems, he just fails much more consequentially now.

As former Obama administration Defense Secretary Robert Gates put it, paraphrased, Joe Biden is just always going the wrong way. For more than 40 years.

That’s the subject of this week’s unscripted rant in C’Mon Now!

RIP Dawn Wells, aka Mary Ann.

[WATCH] And Our Next Guest…Sarah Silverman!

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