Son, Don’t Marry a Feminist

National Organization for Women Rally (Photo by Erik McGregor, Sipa via AP Images)

Dear American Men,

If I had a dollar for every email or comment I’ve received from you about what has happened between the sexes over the past 40 years and how it has affected your life, I could retire.

Okay, that’s a bit of a stretch. But it is not a stretch to say that since I began writing about America’s gender war, the number of men I’ve heard from has far exceeded the number of women. You have a lot to say on the subject, and very few outlets to do so. When you do try to share your thoughts on sex and gender, you’re branded a misogynist.

As a woman, I want you to know I hear you. I get it. And it’s wrong.

Because of your stories that now crowd my computer, I feel I have great insight as to what’s going on inside the mind of the modern man. I also have a 14-year-old son who I worry will face the same struggles you have. Out of deference to you and the stories you’ve shared, and because I too have been on the receiving end of feminist vitriol, I wanted you to know what I plan to tell my son.

I’m going to say: Don’t marry a feminist.

Don’t marry a feminist, son, because she has an ax to grind, and someday you’ll become her target.

Don’t marry a feminist because she’s unable to give for the sake of giving. Feminists always tally up a score.

Don’t marry a feminist because family will not come first. Her career will.

Don’t marry a feminist because equality, not marriage, is her ultimate goal. And for marriage to work, the focus and commitment has to be marriage.

Don’t marry a feminist because if you get divorced, which you likely will since competitive relationships don’t last, she’ll blame you — and then use your kids as a weapon.

Don’t marry a feminist because you’ll never be happy. Feminists are perpetually angry and dissatisfied and have no sense of humor. Here’s a great 30-second video to explain what I mean.

The bottom line, son, is that a feminist will not love you the way a real woman will. What’s a real woman?

A real woman is a nice, soft, feminine creature who respects everyone, including men. She has character and a strong moral fiber. For her, marriage and family come first. Work is important, too; but it’s not the be-all-end-all.

A real woman will want and appreciate a real man like you. A real man is a kind, strong, masculine creature who respects everyone, including women. He has character and a strong moral fiber, like your father. For him, marriage and family come first. Work is just a means to an end.

I know you’ll have to wade through a lot of feminists to find a real woman today, but you will find her.

Don’t settle.