Need Your Toddler to Calm Down? There's a Mindfulness App for That!

Gwyneth Paltrow is one of many mindful parents devoting themselves to a new app that specifically targets the under-5 crowd. According to the UK Daily Mail, Headspace has developed an app to get your toddler to calm down:

The makers of a ‘mindfulness’ app popular with celebrities have launched a new version… aimed at getting toddlers to meditate.

Headspace claims its phone app will encourage calm and kindness, as well as helping children to focus, to sleep and to wake up.

While skeptical parents may point to the difficulty in getting toddlers to sit still long enough to eat a meal, the firm is confident it can get under-fives to meditate for up to ten minutes.

Reading between the lines, the app promises to essentially sleep-train your child. Which means, of course, that every desperate parent is going to be willing to give it a shot. Can’t handle the stress of parenting? There’s an app for that!

The article didn’t address whether or not Headspace commented on the fact that parents are discouraged from exposing their children to too much screen media because it winds them up. Apparently, the app counteracts the negative effects of screen media while providing a much-needed break for mommies and daddies. And it’s educational, so it’s a win-win for everyone, right?

Headspace co-founder Andy Puddicombe said: ‘Maintaining a healthy and happy mind is essential throughout life, but there is no better time to learn than when we are young.

‘This is a wonderful opportunity to give young people the skills that they need to find a greater sense of calm, focus and connection in their life.

‘It’s about creating a cultural shift in the way we think about health, nurturing the development of the mind, and providing the foundations of health and happiness for an entire lifetime ahead.

This app (that encourages your child to spend even more time looking at a screen) isn’t just about learning, it’s about health and “connection” and using our children to create a “cultural shift” while focusing on the “development of the mind”! It’s science! See, there’s nothing wrong with having your kid stare at a tablet all day as long as it’s healthy, right?

For those who’ve never meditated, it’s now one of the hottest prescriptions for managing anxiety, depression and other stress-related issues. Chances are if you’re researching apps and able to provide your child with a tablet to use them, they aren’t facing the kinds of abusive situations that would cause extreme levels of stress in a toddler. Normal levels of toddler stress, on the other hand, used to be mediated by a healthy dose of free play, usually dispensed in the form of cracking open the back door and telling the kids to run around for a while.

Do they have an app for that?