Life-altering blows come to all of us at one time or another in the span of a lifetime. Whether it be the death of someone you love, a marriage that you thought would last forever, or the loss of a job you loved—it happens. They change our life in an instant. If we’re lucky, the person we thought we were disappears, and the essence of what we are made of begins to emerge.
Few of us literally feel those blows in the form of a devastating roundhouse kick to the side of our face knocking our teeth loose. Ronda Rousey did.
With those kicks, she lost more than the UFC bantamweight title. According to her, she lost her identity, sense of purpose and contemplated suicide. On the Ellen DeGeneres Show, through tear-filled eyes she described her thoughts sitting in the medical room moments after the fight.
I was sitting there thinking about killing myself, thinking, ‘I’m nothing, what can I do any more? No one gives a s*** about me any more.’
Then I looked up and saw my man Travis, and I thought, ‘I need to have his babies, I need to stay alive.’
Yes, Ronda Rousey needs to stay alive. I don’t mind saying that finding a new purpose in life might be good for her, although some would say that finding a new purpose by becoming a mother is a foolish thing to do.
Cultural wisdom tells us our identity, our worth comes in what we do—what we accomplish or attain. Ronda had success in the world of UFC fighting with 12 mixed martial arts wins. Shouldn’t she just get back into the ring?
No. There’s so much more to life.
Motherhood will give Ronda something she’s never experienced before. It’s the opposite of everything she’s known until now. She’ll learn that laying your life down for someone you love, who needs you, makes you a different kind of winner.
I won’t pretend to know what it’s like to win a championship title. I do know what it’s like to have your life shattered. I know how it feels to question your very existence. I’ve taken the shattered pieces of my life, examined all the shards and put them back together, watching as my life transformed into a different picture.
Also read: What Should You Do (and Say) When Someone Loses a Child by Rhonda Robinson
Motherhood isn’t something we can train for. It’s something we become. There’s no way to prepare for the love you feel. For me, it was the first time I can honestly say that I loved someone else more than myself.
If Ronda Rousey can withstand a Holly Holm defeat, then come out of it searching for a deeper meaning in life, she could find it in loving one man and having his child. If, that is, she can put all the hype aside and understand that life is not about her.
Motherhood is the mixed art of strength, dedication, leadership, and sacrifice. If she puts her whole heart into the skills of motherhood, she won’t know what hit her.