13 Disturbing (Yet Somehow Hilarious) Elf on the Shelf Scenes

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Look, we know it’s hard to get creative with your Elf on the Shelf after the first week of December. We understand you’re trying to come up with new ways to surprise your kids in the morning with funny and creative poses and hiding places for the little guy. But some of these are crossing the line into “slightly demented”—if not “totally deranged”–territory. These are supposed to be for the children, right?

13. Elf on the Shelf meets a drone and the family liquor cabinet

I suspect there may have also been some hallucinogenics involved.

12. You’re going to want to lock up your booze before turning your Elf on the Shelf loose in your house

11. Elf on the Shelf hostage pictures

They are plentiful on Instagram. You thought your kids were afraid of Goldilocks and the Three Bears? Wait until they see some of these.

10. Walking Elf on the Shelf

Give it a minute. It’ll sink in.

9. Elves that threaten children…

Wait, did my husband post this one?!?!?

8. Easy there…

7. Batman never did have a sense of humor:

6. NSA elf is watching…

5. Why do so many elves have medical problems this year? Suggestion: Lay off the booze, guys!

4. “Gonna get his eyes scratched out in exactly one minute” elf:

3. Elves have a weird toilet paper fetish, so you’ll want to lock that up before you go to bed.

2. Pervy elf:

(Just what every kid wants to think about during the holiday season!)

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I like his style #elfontheshelf #party #streetpizza

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(If you catch your elf doing this, destroy him before he harms someone!)

1. Finally, Pugs rule!