Parenting

Dad Diary: Thank You Baby Girl for Forcing Me to Grow

Our sweet daughter Elif Marvel isn't only joy of our life, she's also my main motivator for personal growth.

When our baby was just born I was thrilled. I never felt that fulfilled. But in the days afterward, I simply became exhausted. It’s difficult. More difficult than anything else I’ve ever done, and I’m used to working my face off 12 to 14 hours a day. So yes, I was loving it, but I was also struggling with it.

At a certain moment, I noticed that I was complaining and nagging to myself. “I’m so tired, I’m so tired. This is exhausting. How do other people do this?” And not just once, but constantly. That’s when I interfered with my own thoughts, my own mindset, and had some Real Talk. I went over it, why we made this choice, realized how powerful it was, and told myself that this was a great opportunity to grow as a man — as a dad and husband, yes, but as a man in general overall.

Since then, my negative self-talk has completely stopped. Yes, it’s still tiring, but I don’t even stop to think about that. Instead, I bask in the love I feel towards our child and her flowering love for us (her mom and me). It’s just beautiful. At the same time, I’m starting to realize that this growth I thought about at first (she’s only 2.5 months old) isn’t theoretical anymore, it’s already happening. I’m becoming grittier, more determined and more disciplined every single day. Why? Because I have to. Failure is not an option. I’m going to raise this child with love. I am determined to make sure that she’s always filled with the knowledge — deep down on the inside — that her daddy loves her with all his heart. This girl will grow up to become a wonderful, successful, happy woman; that’s not an option, it’s the only option.

Realizing that and putting that into practice is speeding up my personal development in ways and at a pace I never thought possible. And I attribute all of that to our sweet baby girl, who, even though she’s only two months old, has already enriched our lives so incredibly much. Just that smile. That loving look. That sound she makes when she sleeps. Everything about her is beautiful — and if I have to be exhausted in order to help her become the woman she’s meant to be, so be it. That’s not a sacrifice, it’s what I want to do.

Why suddenly this article? Quite simple, really. I was recently watching a video of Quest founder Tom Bilyeu (co-founder of the billion-dollar company Quest and now founder of Impact Theory) in which he addressed exactly these issues. And that’s when I realized that although I’ve been feeling like this for a while now, I hadn’t actually taken the time to write it down, which is a bloody shame. So there you have it… and here you have the video that inspired me so much: