Protect Your Son from Rape Hoaxers Like Lena Dunham

It seems that nary a day goes by without Lena Dunham being proven either a liar or a fool. Today’s example is this stupid tweet.

Uh… that’s not true. Not even a little bit.

Luckily, the Twittersphere unleashed every rape hoax in recent memory to combat this stupid lie. But it brings to mind, as we’re all in the midst of back-to-school preparations, what an important issue “campus rape hoaxes” are and why your son needs to be armed against diabolical coeds who would ruin his life without a second thought. Women faking rape is so prevalent that as the parent of a boy you MUST have a very frank talk with your son in order to prepare him for what could happen. First, sit him down and read this article to him. Second, come up with a plan that will protect him from wasting years of his life and having his reputation destroyed by some vindictive feminist who decides to haul him into court.

Don’t believe me? Look what happened to these poor bastards:

Nikki Yovino, a Sacred Heart University student, thought it would be fun to get sympathy from a love interest by accusing two football players of rape. Even though she admitted in court that she lied, the victims of her hoax suffered major consequences.

Agustin Sevillano, the lawyer for the now-former football players, who are not being identified, described what his clients went through as a result of Yovino’s rape allegations. They were scheduled for a school disciplinary hearing but, on the advice of legal council, agreed instead to withdraw from the university rather than face the chance of being expelled and having that on their records. He said one of his clients lost a football scholarship. They have also had to live with the stigma of being accused rapists, he said.

Luckily, this other brain stem didn’t actually finger any suspects, or their lives would have been ruined too.

Officials said that teen, who also uses the last name Talbott, made a false report to police on March 8 claiming to have been abducted and gang-raped behind a church in Denison, Texas.

The teen turned up at the local church covered in blood and wearing only a shirt, bra and underwear. She allegedly told parishioners that black men had taken her into the woods and raped her.

Yep…that didn’t happen. It turns out she inflicted the wounds on herself.

Some of these girls don’t even wait until college to hone their fake rape stories.

A Lakeside High School student was charged with a felony Thursday after making up a rape story, authorities said.

Juana Elizabeth Palomares, 17, told investigators that someone raped her before school Monday while she was throwing away trash at a dumpster near her home. She said the rapist grabbed her from behind, pinned her up against the fence surrounding the dumpster and raped her, according to a sheriff’s report.

It turned out she didn’t want to fess up to a consensual sex romp she had with someone other than her boyfriend, which appears to be a familiar theme in rape hoaxes.

Nicole Richess accused two soldiers (with whom she’d had a consensual threesome) of rape after her boyfriend got wind of it. She went to jail, but her victims live in perpetual fear.

Her “deceitful web of lies” resulted in the arrest of the two soldiers, leaving them “distraught and petrified,”…Judge Jonathan Fuller QC said: “You made a determined and prolonged attempt to weave a picture of deceit to further your ends and you were prepared to make wholly false allegations of attempted rape against these innocent young men. The impact on these victims cannot be understated and false allegations of rape and attempted rape can have dreadful consequences.”‘

And most recently, a University of Southern California student was only exonerated of a false rape charge because cameras inside and outside of the bar where he was picked up by his accuser tell a far different story than hers. Unbelievably, the 19-year-old predator told police that she was too drunk to consent (while a drunk male apparently can consent) and they arrested and charged the male student with rape. By a sheer miracle, the cameras saved his behind (literally) from jail.

And let’s not forget that Lena Dunham herself falsely accused a college Republican named “Barry” of raping her. For real. Even the Washington Post admitted it was garbage.  Dunham’s response was to call herself an “unreliable narrator” — or in other words, a liar.

What can you do to protect your son from these monsters? The most effective plan of action is to have him agree to never, ever be alone with a girl in private. Always have witnesses. Save the sex for the girl you marry. But if this isn’t workable, make sure your son never goes into a sexual situation without video-recorded consent (and probably one in writing, too, just to be sure… and get it notarized. Anyone who gets to the bottom of this form is probably going to opt out anyway).

This is not a joke. I know it seems like it should be, but this is where we are as a society, so… buckle up. It’s nasty out there and nobody will take your son’s side. Teach your son to stay far away from any woman in college who proclaims she believes in “rape culture” or social justice. That should weed out at least 90 percent of the hoaxers. But for the rest, make sure he gets to know any girl he is interested in for a long time (6 months or more) before even attempting to be alone with her and even then, make her sign the form. His future freedom depends on it.