The Mystery Sock Basket Is Destroying My Calm

I know you have one of these. Mine is making me nuts and growing larger every day. This wasn’t a huge problem before we had kids. Mr. Fox and I would have a few mismatched socks and I would usually toss them after waiting through a cycle or two. But now, with five of us, the missing sock problem is out of control. Where do they go? Does the dryer eat them like a blood sacrifice for the magic of dry clothes? Or is the dryer pulling in extra socks from another dimension somewhere that I can’t see? It’s one of those two things because the socks have a match when they go in. Why hasn’t anyone solved this yet? I have Amazon buttons by my toilet paper that I can push and it sends me things. Alexa keeps my grocery list in perfect order and sends it to my husband while entertaining me with jokes and reminding me to get to the dentist — and yet the socks are still unmatched.

What do I do with these? I can’t throw out an entire basket of socks! Some of them were expensive! Further, they’re not all worn down or thinning. They are good socks! Is there a sock orphanage they can go to? Or a sock museum? I can’t look at this basket anymore or I’m going to have a breakdown (and it won’t be pretty). Google only tells me what to do to prevent this problem, like pinning them together before the wash or washing all socks in a laundry bag or buying the same kind of socks, but this does not help me NOW. I have a full basket of orphaned socks that I swear mock me when I walk by. I can hear them!

Throwing them out would solve the problem of having to look at them, but there is great fear that as soon as I throw them out all the matching socks will come out of hiding, pointing and laughing. I’ve been thinking like this for years and matching socks have never reappeared (let alone pointed or laughed). But I refuse to give up the hope that they will. This feels like insanity. Searching for solutions I found this:

You can easily begin collecting way too many stray socks, or get in the habit of never pairing your socks back up if you use this method, and that is a recipe for disaster.

You don’t say?

One reader, Rhonda, said something rather typical of this particular problem: “I don’t know that I’ll ever master this one. We have 3 baskets full of unmatched socks! The boys and my husband will just pull unmatched (but close) socks and wear them. It makes me crazy! I keep threatening to throw them all out, but I never do it. Maybe I’m the problem…LOL.

How can I be the problem? The dryer is clearly tormenting me! Where’s the wine? I need a massage.

Do you have a basket of unmatched socks? Leave me a picture in the comments! I need to know I’m not alone.



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