Parenting

Spain Appoints 'Sex Tsar' to Help Married Slackers Get Busy Between the Sheets

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The Spanish people are having a problem with their birth rate. People are dying faster than new babies are born. In reaction to this alarming news, Spain has appointed a new “sex tsar” to put some spice back into the bedrooms of its married couples. The excuses of the Spanish people for not procreating are pretty lame; they cite being “too tired” or “out too late.” According to The Mirror:

Statistics revealed Spanish women between 18-49 reportedly had an average of 1.3 children in 2015 – below the European Union’s (EU) figure of 1.58.

While many European countries are seeing a decline in birth rates, Spain’s figures means it has one of the lowest in the developed world.

Spain’s birthrate has fallen by 18 percent since 2008, according to figures from Eurostat.

And between 1977 and 2015, the number of childless couples tripled from 1.5 to 4.4 million, according to the latest report by Spanish social and economic think tank, Funcas.

Prime Minister Mariano Rajoy and Ms Barreira will draft a document for a national strategy of demographic imbalances.

Spain’s education ministry said the declining birth-rate “aggravates other economic imbalances and generates important ‘impacts’ in the Welfare State”, reports Spanish news site ABC .

For far too long the overpopulation alarmists been scaring people into believing that having children would burden the world and cause famines and starvation. What they forgot in all their calculations was that discouraging women from having babies would actually lead to an aging population with no younger generation to help support them—and eventual human extinction. Thanks, morons.

Simple math could have proven them liars but most people were too busy giving the stink eye to women with large families to do the research. (“Are they all yours? Don’t you know what causes that?”) For many years now, women with more than three children have been looked at as crazy or dangerous. But more and more societies are discovering they need those crazy mamas! All over the world countries are facing serious population crises, but that doesn’t stop the left from peddling their overpopulation myths. Dan Savage, a gay activist, said women should be forced to have abortions for the next 30 years because there are “too many g**damn people on the planet.” The truth is the opposite. If developed countries around the world don’t get busy between the sheets, they are going to have a serious problem. Governments have stepped in to try to reverse this situation in Russia, Denmark, Singapore, South Korea, Romania, Japan, and now Spain. This has led to some hilarious ad campaigns.

It’s depressing that governments have to get involved to tell human beings to perform what should be a natural biological imperative that follows closely after “survive.” This is like telling people to eat. How dumb have we become? The lengths some of these countries are going to for new babies defy imagination! Tax credits! Bonuses! Vacations! Cash payments! Robots!

Speaking of robots, the new Spanish sex tsar might want to start encouraging procreation by shutting down the new “robot brothel” that just opened up in Barcelona. If babies are what you want, then having men waste their sperm on machines seems counterproductive. And disgusting. I don’t know what’s going on in the world that robo-love is the new rage (is gay just not shocking enough anymore?) but maybe it explains the low birth rate. As soon as the woman you’re with finds out you’ve been going to a robot whorehouse, it’s fairly certain you won’t be getting her pregnant. Have some dignity, people! This cannot really be a thing.Can it? Is there anyone brave enough to let us know why you would ever choose a robot to have sex with over a human? We are always listening in the comments section below so feel free to share.

Meanwhile, watch this enlightening video about the real population crisis and then go find your spouse and make another baby! Do it for your country!