Think back to those mean girls in high school. They probably always had an (unwanted) opinion about other girls’ hair styles, wardrobe choices, and accessories. They also probably had something to say if you were too smart for their taste, or somehow awkward or different. While we would love to believe that those mean girls stayed in high school where we left them, sadly that’s not the case. Because mean girls grow up to be mean moms, and almost any mom out there has felt their judgmental “sanctimomminess” in one way or another. You know the ones. They make snide (or outright obnoxious) comments online about the food we give our kids, the clothes our kids are wearing, the baby weight that we haven’t yet lost, the hair that we haven’t washed in a few days, the seemingly dangerous situations we’re putting our kids in or the helicoptering that we are doing at the playground, the vacations that we’re taking, and the Facebook posts that we write about our kids to blow off steam from being everyone’s main nurturer, chef, chauffeur, medic, playmate, and doormat 24/7, with no sleep and not enough coffee in the freaking world.
But why do so many women feel the need to tear others down? Aren’t we all in this insanely difficult-yet-rewarding-yet-overwhelming parenting thing together? Well, we should be.
Mom.me had more on the topic:
Marie Claire reports: “The fact that ‘Mean Girls’ came out in 2004, when today’s young moms were in high school or college, is not a coincidence. Art, too, imitates life. Tina Fey was inspired to write the script after reading the 2002 non-fiction book ‘Queen Bees and Wannabes‘ by Rosalind Wiseman, in which the writer observed ‘the tiny ways that girls go after each other.’ Bullying research during this time found that girls can be aggressive—not in the obvious, physical way boys can be, but in subtler, more indirect ways. Countless articles and news segments at the start of the 21st century focused on the new phenomenon of female bullies, dissecting the idea that girls are socially competitive creatures striving to be popular and powerful—and victimizing others in the process.”
It seems to many that becoming happy and successful equals grabbing others by the collar and trying to hold them back.
According to a survey done by Beech-Nut baby food brand, 80 percent of millennial moms have experienced some type of shaming.
If you have ever been made to feel like the worst mom in the world because you (gasp) gave your toddler McDonald’s for dinner or didn’t puree organic apples this time around for your infant, then you aren’t alone. Do your best to ignore this adult form of bullying and know that you’re doing a great freaking job. And don’t forget to call some mom friends to remind them that they’re doing awesome as well. Because that’s the only way we’re all going to survive this thing: by supporting and lifting each other up instead of tearing each other down. [And if you’re the type who enjoys ripping moms to shreds from the comfort of your computer, you’re the problem. Consider a different outlet for your stress, because chances are that you’re probably not much different than the poor woman whose photo you’re about to comment on.]