Top 10 Annoying Kids Shows That Drive Us to Drink

A fighter of the Syriac Military Council burns an ISIS flag on the front line on the western side of Raqqa, Syria, on July 17, 2017. (AP Photo/Hussein Malla)

If you have kids, you will understand what we mean when we say that some of the shows they watch make us want to hit the liquor cabinet. You know how it is…your sweet little baby wants to watch the same show over and over again until you need to break out the vodka.

Well, truth is, some children’s shows and characters are much more annoying than others. Here is our list of characters and shows that need to be offed and go to kid-show heaven.

10. Max and Ruby

Rabbits are usually adorable, right? Well, not on this show! The sister, Ruby, takes care of her little brother Max while the parents are nowhere to be found (presumably dead from a horrible restaurant “accident”). The tragedy has caused Ruby to be an extreme *itch and Max has become mute. Max has no manners and Ruby is losing her mind.

9. The Mickey Mouse Clubhouse

Who doesn’t love Mickey Mouse? After you watch this show a few hundred times, we guarantee that you won’t anymore. The theme song stays with you all day and it’s an embarrassment to the Mickey days of old.

8. Dora the Explorer

The show has gotten out of hand. After hearing “I’m the map!” for the 7,465,249th time, it isn’t fun anymore. Plus it begins to get creepy when Dora asks your kids a question and she just stares blankly back at them through the television. And “Swiper” is a serial kleptomaniac, something we don’t want our kids learning. Seriously, isn’t there enough evidence to convict the rat…er…I mean, ferret, yet?

7. Ni Hao, Kai Lan

Yep! Kai Lan ripped off Dora! Same concept, same annoying show.

6. Uncle Grandpa

Want to take a psychedelic trip to expand your mind? Watch this show. It is so dumb that your children actually lose IQ points watching it. What’s it about? We…Have…No…Idea.

5. Wonder Pets

First of all, the animation is terrible! It looks as though a kid cut out the animals from some Highlights magazine and stuck them on a stick (not cute). “Ming Ming” the duck has a speech impediment using “Ws” in place of “Rs”, and every segment is like a really bad opera. Oh, goodness! Kill us now!

4. LazyTown

Let the creepiness begin. This show involves rude and self-serving puppets that are hard plastic, while the other characters are human. A creepy stalker guy who changes costumes to remain elusive spies on the main characters, plotting his evil takeover. The main character promotes healthy eating, but you know darn well he’s on roids!

3. The Fresh Beat Band

Are all of these kids high on major sugar-binge cocktails or something? This is the only way to explain their constant state of cheerfulness and never-ending energy. Maybe they were given lobotomies. Be-bop on over to Muffy’s house and watch this nightmare.

2. Blue’s Clues (after Steve went to college)

I don’t care what anyone says, I could watch Blue’s Clues with my kids all day–when Steve was on the show. One day we woke up and suddenly Steve was going to “college” and being replaced by his way less-entertaining brother “Joe.” Joe can’t sing, Joe can’t dance, Joe is awkward, and Joe isn’t Steve. End of story.

1. Caillou

OMG, where to begin. Caillou is a whiny, rude 4 year old who hates his little sister, Rosie. His voice is so annoying it’s like nails across a chalkboard. He has temper tantrums—a lot. Why would we want to watch someone else’s kid have a complete meltdown when we won’t tolerate our own having one? Also, he is bald. Why? We have no idea. The color scheme is all primary colors and the characters are asexual blobs from the 1980s (no disrespect to the ’80s). We hate…no, loathe this show. Well-deserving of snagging our #1 spot.

Have a kids show you just can’t stand to watch anymore? Leave a comment and let us know what it is!