Parents Share the Funniest Things Their Kids Have Ever Said

kids say funny things

Kids say the darndest things sometimes, so we asked 10 parents, “What’s the funniest thing your kid has ever said to you?” Here are their hilarious answers.

1. Marki

“I was getting ready to take my adorable grandson Elijah to the store. As we were walking out he turned to me and said, ‘So am I driving? Or am I riding in my car seat?’ Completely blown away and laughing I replied, ‘Yeah, you’ll be in your car seat.'”

kid in car seat


2. Alice

“I was giving my 4 year old son and his newborn baby sister (3 months) a bath together, and he exclaims, ‘She’s broken! Her butt crack goes all the way around!’ I about died laughing. Hubs was also in tears laughing.”

baby butts

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3. Diane

“My 6 year old son, Taylor, came home from kindergarten one day and to my surprise, he had colored himself blue with magic marker all over himself. I asked him, ‘why would you color yourself blue with magic marker?’ And his answer was, ‘Because I didn’t have red.'”

blue marker

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4. Everett

“My 10 year old daughter, Laney, asked me out of the blue one night before bed, ‘Daddy? Would you rather have shots stuck all in your face or be bitten by tarantulas all over your face?’ I tucked her in good, kissed her and locked my bedroom door.”


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5. Lisa

“Standing outside of my bedroom door, my 5 year old son says, ‘Mom, why is the door locked? Mom, is dad in there? Mom, why can dad come in and I can’t?’ What could we say?”

door sign

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6. Susan

“My kid isn’t talking yet, but the other day after I burped him, he giggled to himself. Such a man. Can’t wait ’til he starts laughing when he passes gas.”

baby over shoulder

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7. Holly

“Ruston, who is six, said to his sister, ‘You make me want to turn into a snowman so I can melt.’ His sister Jenna, who is four, replied, ‘You make me want to turn into a tree so I can cut myself down with a saw.’ I just don’t know. I just don’t know.”


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8. Huck

“Around the age of five, our son had trouble saying words that began with “T.” It came out sounding like a swear word sometimes. We were out to dinner one night and he couldn’t find the truck he brought with him. He started to scream, ‘Where’s my *uck. I can’t find my *uck!’ Needless to say, we were mortified.”

Image via Shutterstock

Image via Shutterstock

9. Nikki

“When my daughter, Kylie, was three, about six months after we got our dog, she was lying on the floor petting him and said, ‘Mommy, when Skippy goes to God, can we get a llama?'”


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10. Julie

“I was upset with my three year old son Paul for something he had done, so I put him in a time-out. He came over to me, sat on my lap and said, ‘Mommy, Santa is watching and he is going to bring you coal for putting me in time-out.'”

Image via Shutterstock

Image via Shutterstock


We’d love to hear from you! Please e-mail the funniest things your kids have ever said to [email protected] or leave a comment below.