My family has been hit with a double whammy this year: a heated presidential election and suffering through the terrible twos. As I have witnessed the terror erupting from my formerly precious little man, I cannot help but be jealous of the public relations staff each presidential candidate employs to spin facts.
While I cannot hire you a PR specialist, maybe we parents enduring the toddler years can find some humor in our current lot in life. In the spirit of the election season, here are some PR-approved messages to explain your toddler’s routine meltdowns. If the politicians can get away with it, surely we parents can enjoy a few minutes of denial as well.
A PR approved look at 10 Toddler Meltdowns
1. Saying “Mommy” 4 Billion Times a Day
Really, your toddler just means that “Mommy” is such a beautiful name and he is so glad it is YOU he gets to call “Mommy.” No one could wear that title more beautifully than you do!
2. Throwing Food
Your cooking is out of this world… and he wants to see if he can send it there so it receives its due credit. Or maybe you have a future World Series pitcher blossoming at your dinner table.
3. Carry Me!
Dad, your arms are so strong. Seriously, have you been working out?” Who else can carry a diaper bag, the groceries, the stroller, your car keys, my toys, my sippie cup AND a wiggling me?
4. Refusing Sleep
I am just having so much fun with you that I cannot bear to see it come to an end. How much longer until we can play again? You are the best playmate I have ever had.
5. These Toys Will Not Do What I Want Them to Do
Thank you for blessing me with so many toys to play with. So many options and possibilities!
6. I Can Do it Myself!
Mom and Dad, you do so much around here. Let me take this one and give you a break for a minute. Is there a recliner calling your name?
7. Refusing to Change Clothes
You have a great talent at picking stylish clothes. While I know that the next outfit you select for me will be equally adorable, I just cannot part with this set of pajamas. Three princesses on the shirt! Can it get any better than this? You picked a real winner.
8. Grocery Store Tantrums
Your presence and undivided attention are so special to me. When I have to share you with an entire superstore full of shoppers it makes my heart sad. Can we go home and snuggle now, Dad? I just love you so much.
9. Car Seat Wars
Mom, you do such a good job of keeping me alive that I thought I would add a new element to our safety game. By the time I am too big for a car seat you will have the new title in heavyweight wrestling. Wasn’t that your dream goal, anyway? And I am perfecting the Hokey Pokey, so there is probably a good future for me in that.
10. Refusing to Eat
Your last meal was just so incredible and fulfilling that I don’t need to eat yet. I may find some room for chocolate in ten minutes, so check back then, but for now I’m going to let my delicious lunch carry me over. You just outdid yourself again.
So no matter what tricks your toddler tries to show off, channel your inner politician and look for the spin. Surely that is what your darling little one really means, right?