Iranian Mouse 'Roars' at the U.S., Claiming Conflict Would Be 'The Mother of All Wars'

In The Mouse that Roared, the tiny pre-industrial Grand Duchy of Fenwick declares war on the United States, hoping that a quick defeat would result in the U.S. rebuilding the country into a modern society. Instead, they land in New York only to find the population underground taking part in a civil defense drill.

The invading “army” accidentally stumbles across a superbomb that makes the Grand Duchy of Fenwick feared by all the nations, including the nuclear-armed nations.

That first part is far more likely when talking about Iran — minus the part where the U.S. rebuilds it. But give the mouse credit for “roaring.”

Reuters:

War with Iran is the mother of all wars, Iranian President Hassan Rouhani said on Tuesday in a speech broadcast live on state TV, warning once again that shipping might not be safe in the Strait of Hormuz oil waterway.

Tensions have risen between Iran and the West since last year when the United States pulled out of an international agreement which curbed the Islamic Republic’s nuclear program in return for an easing of economic sanctions on Iran.

“Peace with Iran is the mother of all peace, war with Iran is the mother of all wars,” Rouhani said at the Foreign Ministry in a speech which also praised Foreign Minister Mohammad Javad Zarif after the United States imposed sanctions on him on July 31.

“Nice oil tankers ya have there, fellas. Be a shame if something happened to them.”

If the United States wants to have negotiations with Iran then it must lift all sanctions, Rouhani said, noting that Iran must be allowed to export oil.

Fuelling fears of a Middle East war with global repercussions, the Guards seized British tanker Stena Impero near the Strait of Hormuz in July for alleged marine violations, two weeks after British forces captured an Iranian oil tanker near Gibraltar accused of violating sanctions on Syria.

“A strait for a strait. It can’t be that the Strait of Hormuz is free for you and the Strait of Gibraltar is not free for us,” Rouhani said.

What planet is this guy from? The Strait of Gibraltar is free for us — and for our allies — because we could flatten your miserable excuse for a country without even working up a sweat. Or maybe Rouhani thinks we’re going to play by the Marquess of Queensberry rules?

Kim Jung-un tells his people that North Korea is the most powerful country in the world and that it defeated the U.S. in the Korean War. It’s doubtful Kim is quite as deluded as that, but it’s possible Rouhani is. If the bombs ever do start dropping on Tehran, Rouhani may get the surprise of his life when someone finally — and irrevocably — calls his empty, vainglorious bluff.

The mouse that roared — indeed.