Kruiser's 'Worst Week Ever'

"Daddy, what was America like?"

Impeachmentpalooza hasn't really done much for my once-strong optimism for the future of the Republic.

As the painfully manufactured drama played out this week, I found myself dreaming of being an expatriate somewhere. The longer it went on, I began to feel as if I already were an expatriate. What I'm looking at lately certainly has some United States-ish elements -- it's still easy to get a burger and fries -- but a lot of the cool stuff is fading. For example, many of those burger places are offering plant-based veggie and/or vegan burgers, which sound like something a torturer would use to force information out of a captive.

"It's a Whopper made from kale, rhubarb, and chard."

"I'LL TALK, YOU MONSTER!" 

Two things struck me as I monitored the public reaction to the inquiry over the last few days.

The first, which leads into the second, is something I touched upon in my Morning Briefing on Friday. Anyone paying attention to the process long ago made up their minds. Moses could descend from Mt. Sinai with freshly chiseled tablets in which the Lord described either damning or exculpatory evidence and not one person in the United States would consider any of it.

To say that each side is dug in isn't quite accurately describing the situation, as that implies we're trying to defend a position.

Ain't none of that going on 'round these parts.

This is more like a public staring contest, but with words. One where we've all voluntarily propped our eyes open with those weird Clockwork Orange things just to make sure we don't blink first.

While many (most) find the hearings tedious, they are also utterly magical, because every person watching is seeing and hearing precisely what he or she wants to see and hear.

I would worry more about the political divide in this country if I or anyone else really wanted the divide repaired. Nobody does anymore. If I truly thought that anyone did, I might actually look at ways to facilitate a little healing.

What I've come to believe is that, like these two jacked-up disks in my back, political division in this country is just an annoying fact of life. I'm learning how to deal with it, then giving it as little thought as possible.

The second part of this is what's really problematic.

Let's say that there are people in the United States who are watching the impeachment drama and are truly on the fence. I think you have a better chance of catching Bigfoot wearing a smoking jacket in your living room but, hey, make-believe is fun sometimes.

Should such a person exist, he or she would want to be informed about the impeachment inquiry proceedings. Where would objective information be found?

NOWHERE.

As I mentioned last week, beating up on the hideously biased media is my political writer raison d'être. As we are hanging around on this side of the paywall, I can be a little more expressive. I think every news organization in America could use a good throat-punching after the last few days.

I've seen no reporting whatsoever. Please bear in mind that I spend every Sunday through Thursday paying attention to the news for 8 to 12 hours a day.

The MSM has been nothing more than Adam Schiff's cheer squad. Here is a prime example:

It takes a pretty toxic combo of psychotropic drugs, recent concussions, and a lot of open glue containers in the work area to view Adam Schiff as being a unifying voice, brimming with concern for the country. I know, it’s Stelter, whose IQ, ideology, and hygiene are all suspect, but he is fairly representative of the voices of the once-proud journalism class in America.

They aren’t reporting about the proceedings, they are offering personal assessments in an attempt to sway public opinion. If you have even a passing familiarity with the leftmedia journos, you know that these are the assessments of people who are intellectual and emotional midgets (I can say things like that on this side of the paywall and trust that no one will run to the principal and report me).

I should clarify that, when I complain about the media, I’m always referring to the mainstream media. There has been a lot of great coverage of the inquiry hearings done by new media writers. While it’s good that we are here and fighting back, the people who may really be on the fence aren’t reading decidedly partisan blogs.

It would be wonderful if the people tasked with reporting the news and informing the public did either anymore. Alas, we are now faced with a permanent leftwing propaganda machine masquerading as journalists. It’s Halloween every day in newsrooms across this great land.

Thank God for the internet and the rise of us subversive naysayers. We may not be reaching the fence-sitters yet, but if we can get just a little louder, they’re going to hear us soon.

Before I go, I wanted to let you know that I recorded the first two episodes of The Kruiser Experience podcast this week. That’s another perk for you fine VIP subscribers. Here is the most recent episode. We’re having fun with this.

Don’t forget to ask me questions in the comments, any topic. LET’S MAKE IT WEIRD, PEOPLE.

Please like and get updates from my Facebook writer page so you can keep up with everything I post here.

Have a great week everyone and don’t look directly at Adam Schiff’s eyes, even on television.

I’m pretty sure he’s really the lizard Queen from V.

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PJ Media Associate Editor Stephen Kruiser is the author ofDon’t Let the Hippies ShowerandStraight Outta Feelings: Political Zen in the Age of Outrage,” both of which address serious subjects in a humorous way. Monday through Friday he edits PJ Media’s “Morning Briefing.”