The Climate Faithful Have Developed Religious Dietary Restrictions (and You Guessed It — We'll All Be Expected to Eat This Way)

(AP Photo/Brennan Linsley)

Jews eat kosher, Muslims have halal, Hindus eschew meat, and many Christians fast during Lent. So naturally, the fastest-growing religion today — earth and climate worship — is developing its own faith-based dietary restrictions.

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“Climatarians” (also called “reducitarians” or “climavores”) are people who make their food choices based on how what they eat will impact the earth, with the aim of reducing their carbon “foodprint.” The Earthist version of original sin is that, simply by living, people commit climate sin every time they eat, breathe, travel, and heat or cool their homes. Naturally, the younger generations are the most pious Earthists, having been recently exposed to the most evangelical Earthist education system yet.

“Climavores, as you might expect, follow a diet less defined by ingredients—unlike veganism, for example,” global consulting firm Kearney informs us. “Instead, Climavores actively make food choices based on climate impacts, practicing climate-conscious eating based on a series of dietary trade-offs intended to benefit the planet.”

Climavores see beef, lamb, and cheese at the very top of the environmental damage scale; pork is in the middle, followed by chicken and eggs. Plants of all kinds typically have the lowest impact. …

Most Climavores eschew labels, viewing climate-conscious food choices paired with their efforts to “live and shop green” beyond food as a meaningful way to personally impact environmental outcomes. Our survey found this is especially true among younger consumers. Respondents 18 to 44 years old were up to twice as likely to consider the environmental impact of their food choices.

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And as the older faiths are gradually supplanted by the Church of the Climate, societal changes are in the works that reflect and support the new religion. Axios reports:

Food manufacturers, restaurants, and supermarkets are racing to cater to the zeal for lower-carbon eating choices, which has people eschewing plastic packaging, ingredients flown in from afar, and foods that are environmentally damaging to produce. …

Terms like “climatarian” are getting newfound attention from corporate America as young consumers gravitate toward what they perceive as “green” diets.

  • “By 2030, our routine food choices will be climate-directed,” advises a report from consulting firm Kearney. “The companies that mobilize now will win the future of food.”
  • Restaurant chains like Just Salad, Chipotle, and Panera Bread are putting “carbon labels” on their foods — and, in the case of Just Salad, adding a “climatarian” filter on its app.
  • Supermarket chain Fresh Market is among the many food prognosticators that declared “climatarian eating” a top trend for 2023.

Back in the bad old days, righteous folk censured people who lived outside Christian proscriptions, and with good reason — things like theft, adultery, sloth, and single parenthood lead to issues that hurt all of society. Under the same reckoning, prepare to be judged for your apostate food choices. Ordering a big, fat steak in a restaurant may earn you glares from fellow diners who have been taught that your dinner hurts them by causing droughts and heatwaves or something.

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Related: At Climate Summit, Elites Chow Down on Gourmet Meats While Telling Us to Eat Bugs

But Leftists are nothing if not authoritarian, and soon the choices will be made for you. More from Kearney:

Combining the collective actions of consumers, manufacturers, retailers, and lawmakers, we project that by 2030 the majority of US consumers’ routine food choices will be climate-directed. The only real question is whether or not climavorism will be a forced or voluntary choice, and that brings us to the role CPG companies and food retailers can play in facilitating Climavores.

There follows a discussion of “voluntary” adaptations that can be made by sellers of food, from producers and distributors to supermarkets and big box stores to restaurant chains. There is also advice on how retailers can help evangelize the public, such as:

… nudge consumers toward climate-conscious choices with on-package carbon labeling, POS materials, and ad campaigns alongside other “climate-friendly” consumer branding.

Establish robust and aggressive GHG baseline targets, incorporate “climate scores” in food reformation and design-to-value programs, and engage both distributors and consumers at every step of the process as you reduce GHG emissions across your operations.

Target and grow the Climavore consumer segment by rewarding climate-conscious purchasing behaviors, including price parity, while establishing Climavore communities built for your brands.

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Kearney’s report wraps up with a not-at-all-subtle threat:

Unless the industry voluntarily adopts these principles, and embraces the idea of increasing the number of Climavores, it may find itself regulated out of business. Food companies that act now will win the future of food, and in the process contribute to our collective responsibility to save the planet.

So brace yourselves: whether or not you exercise what’s left of your freedom of religion, you will nonetheless be forced to adhere to the religious dietary restrictions of the Church of the Climate.

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