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  • Aug 17, 2020 11:19 PM est | Paula Bolyard       

And... that's a wrap, dear readers. Thanks for slogging it out with us during the Dems' virtual snoozefest. We'll be right back here tomorrow for part two of the DNC. Hope you can join us! 

  • Aug 17, 2020 11:13 PM est | Bryan Preston       

So, yeah. That was... something. 

  • Aug 17, 2020 11:10 PM est | Victoria Taft       

Love this song. 

  • Aug 17, 2020 11:09 PM est | Victoria Taft       

The crowd goes wild!

  • Aug 17, 2020 11:06 PM est | Stephen Green       

I am in physical pain.

When Michelle Obama finally showed some of that empathy she demanded the rest of us proles show and finally ended her Casto-length harangue, the DNC cut to a big-ass Zoom multicast of a bunch of losers applauding to their own laptop screens.

The Marquis de Sade ximself never devised a torture so exquisite. 

  • Aug 17, 2020 11:06 PM est | Bryan Preston       

I already miss Bernie's swank cord of firewood. But please THINK OF THE TREES. 

  • Aug 17, 2020 11:05 PM est | Victoria Taft       

Please clap.

  • Aug 17, 2020 11:05 PM est | Bryan Preston       

And now...CLAP. Then QUIT. 

  • Aug 17, 2020 11:04 PM est | Stephen Green       

Yes, Michelle Obama is still speaking.

  • Aug 17, 2020 10:59 PM est | Victoria Taft       

"We are one nation under God." Great idea, Michelle. 

Now tell us about God. Tell us about unity. 

  • Aug 17, 2020 10:57 PM est | Victoria Taft       

Truth in advertising from The Lincoln Project. 

  • Aug 17, 2020 10:56 PM est | Paula Bolyard       

Correct me if I'm wrong, but wasn't Michelle Obama's husband the one who said Dems should bring a gun to a knife fight? I'm not buying her "go high" silliness. 

  • Aug 17, 2020 10:55 PM est | Victoria Taft       

Michelle Obama, We must require empathy. Or else. 

  • Aug 17, 2020 10:55 PM est | Bryan Preston       

Americans: I think I'll do my civic duty and watch some of the DNC tonight.

...12 seconds later...

Um, let's see what's new on Netflix. 

  • Aug 17, 2020 10:54 PM est | Victoria Taft       

Craig? Is that you?

  • Aug 17, 2020 10:54 PM est | Stephen Green       
For those who actually do watch conventions, I think they tune in mostly for the spectacle.

There is none of that to be found in tonight's production, and likely won't be going forward.

The Republican convention will suffer from the same drawback, but there is a difference.

What the Dems are selling requires exuberant crowds of people who aren't thinking too clearly about the longterm.

That's a very difficult sell to make when staring into a webcam, sitting in front of a green screen.

  • Aug 17, 2020 10:50 PM est | Victoria Taft       

Michelle Obama: The schtruggle is real.

  • Aug 17, 2020 10:50 PM est | Victoria Taft       

Please stop the Bruce Springsteen. Please. God. 

  • Aug 17, 2020 10:50 PM est | Stephen Green       

Michelle Obama just insulted every Trump voter as a fool, which strikes me as a curious method of winning back the Obama-to-Trump voters who put Trump in the White House.

  • Aug 17, 2020 10:49 PM est | Bryan Preston