The Olympics Are Canceled But Everyone's Too Busy Laughing at This Guy's Name to Care
The coronavirus crisis claimed yet another major sports event on Monday, but everyone who read about the news burst out laughing. The International Olympic Committee (IOC) chose a member with a most unfortunate name to make the announcement.
"On the basis of the information the IOC has, postponement has been decided," the spokesman told USA TODAY in a phone interview. The 2020 Tokyo Olympic Games will be postponed, likely to 2021, but the details are yet to be worked out. "The parameters going forward have not been determined, but the Games are not going to start on July 24, that much I know."
The spokesman's name? Dick Pound. No, I kid you not — his name is Dick Pound.
I felt a great disturbance in the Force as if millions of voices suddenly cried out in terror — and then burst out laughing.
"I want to believe Dick Pound introduces himself like James Bond. '...the name’s Pound. Dick, Pound,'" tweeted NBA Twitter personality Rob Perez.
"Reply with your best Dick Pound joke. I'll start. Another premature decision by Dick Pound has left the public disappointed," tweeted Barstool Sports' Jack McGuire.
I don't often agree with the far-left Twitter personality Eugene Gu, but he's right on the money about this. "Dick Pound did two great things for us today. First, he announced the 2020 Tokyo Olympics will be postponed to 2021, safeguarding the world from greater spread of the coronavirus pandemic. Then he gave us all a chuckle with his name when we needed it most. Dick Pound. Superhero," Gu tweeted.
"Would like to get a second opinion from Dick Pound’s colleague, Mike Rotch," tweeted Washington Examiner's Siraj Hashmi.
GQ's Laura Bassett quipped, "A guy named Dick Pound just postponed the Olympics. I can't wait to see what tomorrow brings."
Jeff Blehar, co-host of National Review's Political Beats podcast, called the focus on a funny name "reassuring."
"I love how the IOC just announced that the Olympics are being postponed (first time since World War II) and all anyone on Twitter wants to do is make fun of the name 'Dick Pound.' I'm not being sarcastic: I love it. It is reassuring in its own stupid way," Blehar tweeted.
Journalist Jon Arnold alerted the world to the fact that Dick Pound chooses to be known by these words, for some reason."Every time people are laughing about sportocrat Dick Pound's name, I'm reminded this is a choice! He has three perfectly good names he could use instead. I'd go by 'R.W. Duncan Pound' for sure," Arnold tweeted.
It makes sense for people to enjoy a joke at Dick Pound's expense since the delay of the Olympics is not that great of a shock. After all, the NBA and the NHL decided to cancel their seasons and the MLB announced it would delay spring training. Even March Madness is off.
"This has been obvious to everyone except the IOC for the past week," Bleacher Report staff writer David Garner noted.
Coronavirus times are tough. Let's thank the IOC for giving us a few laughs in this crisis.
Tyler O'Neil is the author of Making Hate Pay: The Corruption of the Southern Poverty Law Center. Follow him on Twitter at @Tyler2ONeil.