'Inconceivable!' Fans Outraged as Hollywood Considers 'Princess Bride' Remake
Fans are outraged after Variety reported that Sony Pictures Entertainment CEO Tony Vinciquerra said, "Very famous people whose names I won't use, but they want to redo 'The Princess Bride.'"
The Princess Bride is a cult classic par excellence. The movie's unforgettable lines of dialogue have launched a thousand memes. It combines the elements of romance, sword fights, vendettas, and humor (and yes, more than a little corniness) to create a masterpiece — one many fans would say is perfect.
In fact, Cary Elwes, the actor who played Westley (and the Dread Pirate Roberts), had the perfect response to the remake news.
"There’s a shortage of perfect movies in this world. It would be a pity to damage this one," Elwes tweeted.
Actress and producer Kim Horcher begged Sony not to remake the film.
"Please. Please no. I am not a hater who automatically rejects anything new, prequels, spinoffs, or whatever. But this movie, like Back to the Future, is perfect as is. They're untouchable," she tweeted. "There will never be another grandpa, grandson, Inigo, Vizzini, or Fezzik. Do not do this."
Some called the idea of remaking The Princess Bride "blasphemy."
NASA research scientist Jessie Christiansen, Ph.D., dropped a great Princess Bride reference in her response.
"My promise to anyone who does this: 'Your ears you keep, so that every shriek of every child shall be yours to cherish—every babe that weeps in fear at your approach, every woman that cries 'Dear God, what is that thing?' will reverberate forever with your perfect ears,'" she tweeted.
Dictionary.com called the idea of a remake "inconceivable," noting that — unlike Vizzini (Wallace Shawn) — the dictionary knows what that word means.
"Inconceivable. Yes, we know what it means," the dictionary tweeted.
WIRED producer Adam Lance Garcia dropped another reference — a quote from Vizzini. "You've fallen for one of the two classic blunders! The first being never get involved in a land war in Asia but only slightly lesser known: never go in on a Princess Bride reboot!" he tweeted.
One Twitter user simply responded to the Variety story with a gif of Inigo Montoya (Mandy Patinkin). The gif shows Montoya declaring his famous refrain, "My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die." The gif merely reads "prepare to die" — the other two sentences are implied.
The Princess Bride is chock-full of wit, wisdom, humor, and entertainment. To many fans, the news that some in Hollywood are even considering a remake is tantamount to patricide.
Like many others, I grew up watching The Princess Bride, and this news left me speechless. Just a few weeks ago, I saw Cary Elwes in person at the Washington, D.C. Comic Con. He whispered "As you wish" into the ear of a young lady. He brought up a little boy on stage — a boy dressed up like Westley as the Dread Pirate Roberts. He shared the story of making the film, and how much he missed that experience, especially working with André the Giant.
If Hollywood really wants to remake something, perhaps they should consider seasons 7 and 8 of Game of Thrones — or, even better, Star Wars: The Last Jedi. Fans have already pledged $417 million to remake that last one.
The Princess Bride is a classic, and woe to anyone who wants to "remake" it. You'd do better to start a land war in Asia.
Follow the author of this article on Twitter at @Tyler2ONeil.