British Woman Engaged to a 90-Year-Old Chandelier 'Lumiere' She Bought on eBay
A 33-year-old British woman announced her "engagement" to an inanimate mail-order bride. She stayed mum on exactly how the chandelier "Lumiere" responded to her "proposal" last Valentine's Day.
"As soon as I saw Lumiere on eBay, I knew immediately that she was the one for me and it was love at first sight," Amanda Liberty said, referring to a chandelier she shipped for £400 last year. "She was based in Germany and although I knew it would be tricky to get her home, I knew I needed to find a way to maker her mine."
Liberty has "fallen in love" with many different inanimate objects, and she identifies as an "objectum sexual." In 2010, she legally changed her last name in honor of the Statue of Liberty, which she affectionately calls "Libby." The British woman has traveled to New York six time just to gaze longingly at the monument.
Despite her affection for the statue, the chandelier reportedly stole her heart. "I couldn't stop thinking about her and how beautiful she was," Liberty told the British tabloid The Sun. "She has such a beautiful shape, and I could feel really amazing energy coming from her."
"Lumiere" isn't the woman's first chandelier, however. She claims to be in an "open relationship" with 24 others. Liberty recalled waiting for her "bride" to be and consoling herself with the two dozen others.
"After buying the chandelier, I patiently waited for her to be imported into the UK and after six days of waiting, she was finally in my arms," Liberty said. "She had been disassembled for her own safety, but once I put all her pieces together and she settled into her new home, our relationship just went from strength to strength."
"Last Valentine's Day I proposed to her, to signify our long lasting love," the woman recalled. She didn't explain how a candlestick could give "her" consent for the match. "I hope at some point we will have a commitment ceremony — I haven't been engaged before so it's very new and exciting!"
Despite the impending nuptials, Liberty said she does not sleep with Lumiere every night. Instead, she goes to sleep snuggling another fancy light shade, whom she calls "Jewel."
"None of my chandeliers are jealous of each other, they understand that I love them all for all their different personalities," the objectum sexual said. "For example, I love kissing and cuddling Lumiere, but I sleep with Jewel every night, as she is portable and very nice to cuddle."
The woman hasn't always preferred chandeliers. Her first "relationship" was with a drum kit when she was 14 years old. Then came the Statue of Liberty and her 2010 name change.
Even though she changed her name to reflect her commitment to the statue, the woman said it was hard to carry on a long-distance relationship, so she turned to chandeliers.
“I’ve always loved the look of chandeliers and when I saw my first chandelier, Luna, it was love at first sight," she said. “You can’t control who you fall in love with and things just went from there."
Chandeliers went from a romantic obsession to a hobby. “I spend my spare time restoring old and broken chandeliers to their former glory, which I really enjoy as I can tell that they enjoy the attention that they receive," the woman said. “My dream job would be to work in public buildings such as Buckingham Palace, looking after the grand chandeliers that they have there.”
Despite her new taste in chandeliers, Liberty has stuffed her room with memorabilia of the Statue of Liberty.
Finally, the 33-year-old woman addressed just how weird her sexual obsession with object is. "People often can't understand that this is just a natural orientation for me, that I can find the beauty in objects and can sense their energy," she said.
“I want others to see how happy the chandeliers make me, and how much they’ve enriched my life," Liberty added.
She insisted that her relationships — and forthcoming "wedding" — with inanimate objects do no one any harm and should be celebrated because they are examples of love. “I’m not hurting anyone by entering in to a relationship with them, I am simply just following my heart," Liberty said.
The insanity of "falling in love" and "pursuing a relationship" with a chandelier should be evident to all, and even Liberty has admitted she's "unique." Many mocked Liberty on Twitter.
"Objectophilia is what the Lamp Lover has," one user exclaimed. "Very interesting, but kinda sad that they can't relate to actual living beings in the same way. Enjoy your day!"
"What happens when the chandeliers break?" another user asked. "Also does it know it's engaged to her? And is it chandelierophobic to ask if it has a gender?" Is it possible she is misgendering Lumiere, calling it a "her" when it is really an it? (Isn't Lumiere a boy's name, at least in "Beauty and the Beast"?) Is it possible she is sexually abusing these inanimate objects, who cannot give their consent?
These jokes may be funny, but if Liberty asks for her obsessions to be taken seriously, must these questions be asked in earnest?
The dangers of normalizing such behavior seem lost on many, however. Marissa Torres, a traffic anchor in New York, accepted and even praised Liberty's "objectum sexual" identity. "I give her major props for sharing her story. I also give her props for cuddling with a lamp — seems MOST uncomfortable. I can't even spoon w/my hubby on a reg basis."
While most LGBT people would doubtless dismiss this "objectum sexuality" as absurd, Torres' language of bravely "coming out" with this sexuality echoes the LGBT language of declaring their sexual identities.
Both the LGBT movement and this "objectum sexuality" rely on a few central lies the modern world has bought into. The first lie is that the subjective feeling of happiness is the greatest good, to be pursued and enjoyed regardless of the facts of life. The second lie is that everything goes in sexuality — that sexuality is the most fulfilling kind of subjective happiness and therefore all desires and identities are valid in this arena. The third lie is that sexual desire cannot — and should not — be controlled by reason.
It follows that romantic emotions should be followed as the greatest good, as the ultimate determination of reality. Sexual desire overcomes natural barriers: which relationships can produce children and help in raising them, which identities actually correspond to the realities of biological sex, and which relationships you have pledged yourself to for life.
"Being in love" is seen as the greatest good. It justifies taking divorce lightly — "falling out of love" justifies breaking your pledge to love and serve one other person for life. It justifies homosexual relationships — sexual desire can be for someone of the same sex, so follow it wherever it leads. It justifies polyamory — why limit your "love" to one person?
Something similar justifies transgender identity — a person's emotional internal identity should outweigh their biological sex, from DNA to various body parts. This is why some people identity as transgender dragon ladies and transgender aliens (extraterrestrials), and pay hundreds of thousands to have themselves surgically altered to match this insanity.
LGBT people have been abused and targeted for horrendous treatment, and even if their identities are unnatural and wrong, that does not make bullying or mistreating them in any way any less immoral. Even so, people need to speak up about these issues, and need to not be dismissed as bigoted for doing so.
Amanda Liberty may be hilarious to hear about, but her case is fundamentally sad. She needs not to be mocked but to be helped and educated. The best way to convince anyone they are wrong is to listen, to admit your own mistakes, and to love them. It is no different for the poor souls who have been so led astray by their own emotions.
The worst thing people can do to someone like Amanda Liberty is to celebrate her "sexual identity." It does take courage for her to publicly identify as "objectum sexual," but just because it takes courage to do something doesn't make that thing right.
If Americans and Brits celebrate self-identity and sexual emotionalism, they will remove the anchor of sanity from our cultural understanding. This would lead the vulnerable astray, encouraging children to be confused about the nature of reality and their place in the world.
The best way to make sure your friends, family members, and children don't "fall in love" with a chandelier is to refrain from celebrating people like Amanda Liberty. Teach children — and adults — not to bully the vulnerable, but also teach wisdom and truth, and that includes using the mind to rightly direct the heart.