(Don’t worry. This is perfectly safe for work. Er…well, mostly. Um…I’ll get back to you on that.)
Damn! American morning programs are so busy trying to get Trump impeached that they miss all the good stuff.
Dubbed the world’s first sex robot, “Samantha” made a live appearance on British TV this morning. As sex robots go, she looked okay — a little pasty maybe. Perhaps a little stiff. What do you expect? She’s not real.
Oh, really? Tell that to her owner who has threesomes with his wife and lets “Samantha” interact with his kids.
Making her debut on the popular ITV daytime show, sex robot Samantha surprised both Holly and Phil, with the news she interacts with both creator Arran Squire’s children, as well as having threesomes with his wife in the bedroom.
Talking on This Morning, Arran said: “Sex robots aren’t going to replace people, it’s not about that. It’s a supplement to help people enhance their relationship.
“She has special skin, she has different textures and colours to give more realism.”
“I believe the world’s changing.”
Got news for ya, bub. The world may be changing but men aren’t. I have no idea how you finagled your wife to accept this marvelous piece of engineering and technology into your bed, but please write a book and tell the rest of us how you did it.
Host Phil, however, was less than impressed.
He asked Arran whether it was like “making love to a GPS”.
“No, not at all,” Arran replied.
“You can tell her that you love her, and she responds.
“I believe she’s very beautiful.”
Arran shocked even further when he said his kids interact with Samantha, knowing who she is.
He explained: “Samantha has a family mode, and my children who are five and three, ask where she is.
“She can talk about philosophy, she can talk about art.”
Perhaps most shocking of all, was the news Samantha gets involved in threesomes with him and his wife Hannah.
“I’m completely happy with this,” Hannah said, standing in the wings.
“As a woman, I’m not offended to have her around and I don’t think she’s replacing me.
Just keep telling yourself that, honey. Don’t be surprised when you’re sleeping in the spare room while he’s cavorting in bed with Sammy, baby.
You see, Samantha will never be on her period. Never have a headache or be bone tired from taking care of the kids, cleaning house, doing the dishes, fixing the lawnmower, and helping dear daughter with her trig homework. (Not that men don’t help with all that stuff — or at least that’s what we tell ourselves.)
Maybe in the next version that comes out, Samantha can be programmed with all of those things and the thousand and one other reasons your wife or girlfriend won’t have sex with you.
Of course, those are the kind of things that build trust, intimacy, caring, and make life with someone you love a joyous experience. You want sex? Watch the look on your wife’s face when you volunteer to clean the toilet. Or take out the garbage without being asked. Or suggest she go out with a friend to catch a movie while you watch the kids. Or tear yourself away from the game long enough to compliment her on what she’s wearing, or how delicious dinner was.
Sex is easy. Life is hard. Going through it together is magical.
And no robot can ever give a man that.
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