How to Sabotage Your Life in 5 Easy Steps
Sabotaging your life isn’t quite as difficult as being a huge success, but it’s tougher than you’d think. After all, failure doesn’t just happen. For most people, it takes years of consistent hard work to make themselves into losers. But never fear: with the right attitude, you, too, can sabotage your life in 5 easy steps!
1. Think of yourself as a victim.
These days, it’s extremely easy to come up with some way that you’re supposedly being victimized. You can claim that the deck is stacked against you because you’re black, white, Hispanic, Indian (how dare you say “Redskins!”), female, male, gay, straight, short, fat (that’s “fat shaming!”), rich, poor – pretty much anything works. Ideally, you should get so into your victim identity that you start saying words like “mansplaining” and “trigger warning” without even a trace of irony so that you visibly annoy everyone around you with your hypersensitivity.