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Piper Chapman: Dislike-able Protagonist AND Future Heroine?

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So, why do we dislike Piper?

To start, her name is “Piper Chapman.”

She sounds like a descendent of one of the original Mayflower passengers — which illustrates how white and WASPy she is.  We are introduced to Piper as a privileged white woman, probably raised with wealth, educated at Smith, and living in an up-scale New York bubble. She shops at Whole Foods and is (attempting) to make her money selling soap. Scented Soap that smells like pie. How much more “Yuppie” can you get?  I fully expected her to have a fluffy white dog named Chaucer or Mercutio.

To be frank, she reeks of "lame."

After entering prison, Piper continuously shows how inept she is at self-control: keeping her mouth shut and not making herself look like a know-it-all.  When she interacts with other inmates, she resembles Baby in Dirty Dancing—she always wants to fix things: people, relationships, etc.—and needs to realize the world isn’t always a happy, Kate Spade clutch.

She's also a total ditz. You walked out with a screwdriver?

For me, I think it’s the pure lack of street-smarts that makes Piper so hard to genuinely like.  I keep thinking, no wonder you’re in prison for carrying a bag of money—you’re kind of an idiot!  She’s just so clueless it’s almost exhausting.