Dean Martin Roasts: Remembrance of Zings Past



I was always told never to talk to strangers, so if I traveled back in time to have a word with my younger self, I like to think I'd kick me in the shins.

What difference would it make anyhow?

My pre-pubescent, Carter-era self would never have believed it when grown-up me assured her that (putting aside those brown polyester Sears catalog pants and the blue velour platform shoes and the Love's Baby Soft and the baby blue, cap sleeved "two fried eggs" t-shirts and root beer-flavored Lip Smackers) one day, believe it or not, I -- that is, we -- would miss the 1970s.

Not just the late '70s of my adolescence, but even the "Convoy"/Three's Company/Bicentennial toilet seat '70s.

It's like the "beer googles" effect but for inanimate objects:

Pretty much any cultural artifact, no matter how hideous, starts looking pretty darn good after all these Bud Lights years.

Sometimes, those goggles work a little too well; we misremember stuff as being better -- or just bolder -- than anything we have now.

For example, a few years back, it became commonplace to cluck:

"They could NEVER make Blazing Saddles today."

Please. Have you seen There's Something About Mary or any random South Park episode?

Likewise, those of us of a certain age have been known to make the same fact-free claim regarding All in the Family.

True, the same network that once proudly aired that award-winning landmark television show couldn't broadcast it now, but a cable channel certainly could.