Bad Advice for 5 Game of Thrones Characters


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George R. R. Martin is often accused of nihilism for his brutal treatment of his characters, without any discernible purpose or "moral" to the story. I say: not every author puts a moral in his story, but that doesn't have to stop a thoughtful reader from finding one anyway. Now that season three of Game of Thrones is over and we have our Sunday nights back, it'll probably take all summer just to recover from the trauma of this season and prepare for the next. Here's my half-silly, half-serious attempt to put the "sense" in "senseless graphic violence."

Sansa Stark: This is going to sound like bad advice, but it's time to do something stupid.

Sansa is paralyzed by doing what's right: sitting still and obedient in King's Landing and playing the good little hostage. But her good behavior isn't rewarded -- in fact, it's punished. Sometimes, despite all the morality tales we read as kids about how good behavior always leads to peace and happiness, life puts you in a situation where you've done all the right things and still find yourself trapped in an unbearable situation. In cases like those, it's time to think the unthinkable -- it's time to make the seemingly "incorrect" decision. For Sansa, that would be running away. From the outside, show fans are cheering for her to do it -- but from her vantage point, it's the unconventional and wrong thing to do. My impression has always been that she shies away from it not only because it's dangerous, but because it's frowned upon. So when you feel like a hostage to your own circumstances, take a step back and ask yourself: what is my complete docket of options? Are there any obvious ones I'm ignoring because they come with some risk or they might provoke someone's disapproval? Don't be a Sansa. There are no castle guards holding you back. Take control of your own life.

Gendry: This is actually going to sound like great advice, but don't accept oral sex from strangers.

Seriously. Leeches.


Often people feel that way after meaningless sex. Often people feel that way after meaningless sex.

Tyrion Lannister: This is going to sound like bad advice, but it's time to put your parent(s) in their place.