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The Chestnut Diet: How To Cut Cliches Out of Your Writing

During my second afternoon at the NRI Summit, mid-way through yet another congressman's address, I mused about how easy it would be to create a Right-Wing Red-Meat Speech Generator:

First, plug in some vintage Reagan and Buckley quotations. 

(Hell, mix 'em up and see if anyone notices: "I'm from the Boston telephone directory and I'm here to help you...")

Then sprinkle on some "hard-working Mexicans."

Squeeze in a reference to that lousy poem carved onto an old French statue.

Finally, make "America is the greatest country in the world" a default value.

I ask you:

Why do professional conservatives pay speechwriters big money when some basic java script could produce the same mediocre results -- a string of empty-calorie cliches?

I'm not the only one complaining about this.