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Which President Would Win A Fight to the Death?

The tidbits about Teddy Roosevelt are educational gold:

If you had an hour in the Bronx Zoo with a Gatling gun you wouldn’t be able match the stuffed head collection in his house. Fiercely determined, he transformed from sickly youth into a brick outhouse, a man who boxed in the White House, ran up every staircase and hit friends with sticks for fun (singlesticks!). He picked fights with bigger opponents, in both politics and Dakota Territory bars, and he avenged defeats. Such was his jones for shooting Spaniards, he quit a government job to do it. The roughest men in a very rough era were proud to call him colonel. And if you need some X factors, he’s young, and he spent his adult life trying to impress his dead dad. That’s Disney-level motivation.

My 8th grade history teacher would have done this lesson back in the day. He wasn’t a stranger to fun and memorable lessons. He once entered our classroom the day after a substitute had taught and chewed us out over a fictional bad report. Then, he told us to teach ourselves the day’s lesson and left the room in convincing disgust. It was all to test us, to see who would lead, follow, and coast. I wonder how long the PC guardians let him use that lesson plan?

For the record, in the presidential thunderdome, I'd bet Jackson enters and leaves and that the "holy trinity" of Teddy, Jackson, and Lincoln is wrong. Lincoln won't make it that far. Washington, a Green Beret type of his day, trumps Teddy Roosevelt, or leads Tyler to do it. Cool Cal of "let 9 of 10 problems solve themselves before they get to you," stays until at least the top 5 by pulling a Katniss. Contrary to almost everyone else, I think Obama might stay to the end as well. In speeches he twisted the Chicago way to a gentler "Don't bring a knife to a gun fight," but the actual instruction was to bring a gun to a knife fight.

Obama would bring a gun to a knife fight. Whether he'd use it, or use it skillfully, is another matter. TR finished a speech after being shot and Jackson used his walking stick to beat a man for attempting to shoot him. A gun isn't much help in this fight unless you know how to use it.

Related: There is a Broadway musical about Jackson, Bloody, Bloody Andrew Jackson. Apparently, it is a rock musical about the founding of the Democratic Party. How did I miss this?


Related at PJ Lifestyle:

David Forsmark: The 7 Most Badass Founding Fathers

Bryan Preston: Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter Elected President of the Summer Movie Blockbuster