The 5 Commandments of Being A Jerk

3. Cheapskate: I forgot my wallet!

Be that guy who always goes dutch on dates. Let your friends pick up the checks at restaurants. If need be, say you'll get it next time, which is shorthand for "maybe, someday after I win the lottery." When there are a group of people chipping in for a meal, make sure to just cover your meal (or close enough) without kicking in any money for the tip. Don't chip in for the pizza, but always grab a slice. Say thank you for those gifts you get from your parents, your siblings, and your friends, but don't ever return the favor. Just soak it all in until, when people think of the word "taker," you're the first person who comes to mind.

Not so cheap