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7 Principles That Will Guarantee Constant Misery

3) Make other people responsible for your happiness.

Do you know who cares as much as you do about your happiness? Other than God, nobody -- and even He seems inclined to let people live with the consequences of their poor choices. You might think, "Hey, what about my spouse, my parents, my grandparents and my friends? They love me and want me to be happy!" Sure, but they also have their own lives to live which takes up the majority of their time. It's even worse if you start relying on the government to take care of you. Ask the people in New Orleans after Katrina or the people in Jersey after Sandy how well FEMA looked after them. They didn't do such a great job, right? That's how it always turns out. So, put your own happiness last and just ASSUME that your parents, your lover, your spouse, your government -- someone, somewhere, somehow will show up and put making you happy right at the top of his list. That will enable you to have a long, sad, unsatisfying wait topped off by a big helping of deep disappointment that no one ever puts you first.

Passive aggressive cat