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4 More Foods the Government Should Ban

2. Plums

Because I’m allergic and in the name of equality you must give them up, too. Egalitarianism’s a bitch.

1. Corn

Farmers gonna hate, and I’m sorry, but why is corn (or soy bean -- and don’t get me started on legumes) in every single product on the shelves in the U.S. these days? What happened to good old fashioned sugar instead of high-fructose corn syrup, or healthy fats instead of corn oils that the body just doesn’t process well? Why are Americans fat cows? I dunno -- could it be the corn oils and syrups in everything we buy? What do we feed livestock to fatten them up? That’s right…CORN!

Real sugar also tastes better. Have you ever tried what has become known as “Mexican Coke”? Mexican Coke is not just an illicit drug, it’s a Coca-Cola with real sugar in it that’s sold in Mexico. It tastes like Coke tasted in my childhood and is much more delicious than modern Coke, which began using high-fructose corn syrup instead of sugar in 1980. You can find it in Mexican markets in any major city, because Mexicans know it tastes better so they import it. Now Pepsi and Mountain Dew have come out with a product line called “Throwback” made with real sugar instead of corn syrup.

In the name of better tasting foods and less obesity, corn must be banned.

Banning Foods, A Possible Problem

Does it concern you that every year we seem to get a new study debunking some nutrition science from last year and claiming some new benefit or harm? Coffee’s good for you, no it’s bad for you, no it’s good for you, no it’s bad for you....The question I have is what if the government gets it wrong and accidentally bans all the healthy food?


Sunny Lohmann is a regular humor columnist for PJ Media and PJ Lifestyle. Her political satire videos have gotten a lot of attention in the blogosphere. Find out more about Sunny by checking out her blog, House of Sunny, follow her on Facebook here, and enjoy her most recent Youtube videos here. She tweets @sunnylikeaboss.

Check out her previous articles for PJ Media: