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PJ Media encourages you to read our updated PRIVACY POLICY and COOKIE POLICY.

A Case, of Identity Thieving

Update: Totally Megan McKane's review of Donald Rumsfeld's autobiography is now available at PJLifestyle here.

Attention, young people!! I am writing, this column to inform you that, there is someone on the Internet who is FALSELY IMPERSONATING me, Totally Meghan McCain. This person, clearly not having been matriculated – from a prestigious university like Colombia, as I had, is making me look like a TOTAL IDIOT.  When I realized this, I was HORRIFIC. (PS – Am I, the only one who realizes, that word is completely sexist? It, was probably invented by some pasty old white male – Republican – instead of being invented, by someone cool like my dad).

I am, so horrific in fact, have taken steps to have my name legally changed. It turns out some jerk already owns the name Totally Meghan OchoCinco, so I have decided to go with Totally Megan McKane, which is how, it should be spelled anyway (the silent “I” in McCain doesn’t make any sense!)

It reminded me of the time I was watching TV one Saturday night, with a Republican insider (being the important person that I am being, I know Republicans insiders, some who I do not like, for instance Steve Schmidt, but some who are also totally sweet like Greg Sargent and Adam Serwer). I was not familiar with the, show on the television, but an old person in their thirties we were watching it with said it was something called “Saturday Night Live.”

Any ways. I was impressed, that this show actually had PRESIDENT BARACK OBAMA, performing, live in person, on their show, and that it was impressing that Obama took the time out of what must be a busy social schedule (on the weekend!), to help out, NBC with their ratings! Who says Obama does not care about jobs? Not me. However, it was confusing because the things, he was saying made NO SENSE and everyone in the audience kept, laughing at him, and he pretended not to care at all and finally I asked aloud whether no one, cared at all whether they hurt the Presidential feelings, and after about 30 minutes the old person said, “Wait. Do you seriously think that is the REAL President Obama?”