12 Horrible Messages Hollywood Sends to Americans

1. If You’re Not Having Sex Right This Second, You Are a Loser

When all the winners on the screen that you’re supposed to root for are having sex the way most of us are shaking hands, it makes a lot of people in the real world think they should be doing the same thing. Couldn’t they show James Bond’s shaken expression as a doctor informs him he's contracted syphilis or something?

2. The Key to Success Is Being Born Special or Being Handed a Gift

You know, like Harry Potter, Luke Skywalker, eeee, Superman, and nearly every other superhero. That’s just the message teenagers -- who typically aren’t good at much of anything yet, other than playing video games and failing to prepare for tests -- need to hear.

3. Success Is Quick and Easy

There’s no way the Karate Kid trained for only a few months, and then beat a more athletic guy who was four inches taller and 20 pounds of muscle heavier to win a karate tournament -- one which that guy had already won the previous year.

Similarly, on the show Green Arrow, there’s no way Oliver Queen spent five years training on an island and came back able to easily defeat an unlimited number of armed opponents with a bow. Almost EVERYTHING worth doing takes much longer than you think it will when you start.

4. There Are No Consequences for Anything That Doesn’t Move the Plot Along

Up on the silver screen, you can engage in an insane gun battle, car chase, or casual sex with someone you met five minutes ago -- and there are no consequences. Maybe if Sam Winchester accidentally got a woman pregnant, or Dominic Toretto accidentally sideswiped a grandmother carrying her grandkid home from the movies and sent them over a cliff, it would be a little more realistic.