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FASTER, PLEASE: Jeff Bezos on nuclear reactors in space, the lack of bacon on Mars and humanity’s destiny in the solar system.

Mars needs bacon!

TEACHING WOMEN NOT TO OBJECTIFY: At D.C.’s ‘Magic Mike’-inspired brunch, it’s all beefcake, with a side of bacon.

MISTER, WE COULD USE AN AD MAN LIKE DON DRAPER AGAIN. James Lileks on modern advertising:

Here’s your Male Archetype 2016: big hole in his ear, inked arm, curated beard, ineffably self-satisfied, involved in artisanal jams but yet bacon-aware because he’s a Man, and concerned with sustainability because he wears only thrifted tees.

We’re supposed to admire him but not really. He’s a cliche, a laughable sort — but not really. Women are supposed to be impressed that he can get out a stain, and they’ll say they wish more men could just . . . take care of themselves, you know? But tbh they’re sorta messy themselves and can’t do much in the way of domestic stuff either. It would be nice if a guy knew how to do that stuff. Some of it. Not all of it. And not if he, like, has lots of ideas about domestic stuff, and is always saying you’re doing it wrong when you try to make a sandwich or lectures you for using Conflict Olive Oil. IT’S SO COMPLICATED

If you thought the “Man stupid, woman wise” cliché on TV was getting old, you have no idea just how long it’s been around. Read the whole thing.

CRACKING DOWN ON CHILD ABUSE: In Italy, Parents Who Force Vegan Diet Could Go To Jail. I’m not saying that it’s actual child abuse to deny a kid bacon, but . . . well, yeah, I pretty much am saying that.

IS THERE NOTHING IT CAN’T DO? Elderly British woman fends off burglar with bacon.

(H/T: AoS.)

THERE’S NO OTHER WAY TO SAY IT: MINIMUM WAGE LAWS ARE RACIST.

Well, the people who initially created them certainly were. In addition to the Davis-Bacon Act of the 1930s, which John Ellis mentions in his article at PJM, E. A. Ross (1866-1951), who coined the “race suicide” theory as an early “Progressive” intellectual, gave his justification for a minimum wage in starkly racist terms at the turn of the 20th century: “The Coolie cannot outdo the American, but he can underlive him.” He wasn’t alone amongst his “Progressive” peers in espousing such justifications.

On the other hand, such laws are leading to dramatic new advancements in robotics, so they’ve got that going for them…
china_robot_waitresses_1-6-16-1

SCIENCE, UNSETTLED: Skipping Breakfast Isn’t Actually Bad For You.

The idea that a hearty breakfast is good for your health dates back to the 1920s, when Edward Bernays, a public relations guru, led a nationwide media campaign encouraging people to start their mornings with bacon and eggs. One of Mr. Bernays’s clients at the time was Beech-Nut Packing Company, which sold bacon and other pork products.

In the decades that followed, dozens of observational studies reported that breakfast eaters tended to be leaner. Though these studies could not show cause and effect, many health authorities and food companies asserted that they proved that eating breakfast protects against weight gain.

But experimental studies that randomly assigned people to eat or skip breakfast have found no such thing.

So much “wisdom” on health and nutrition seems to be like this.

BECAUSE WORKING-CLASS AMERICANS HAVE BEEN SCREWED: Ron Fournier: Why Michigan Is Hungry For Change.

Drive farther north on I-75, past Flint and Saginaw and into the scenic woods of northern Michigan, and you’ll find people who remember when the area was thriving. For generations, blue-collar workers poured out of city factories on Friday afternoons and headed to their cottages, which, along with defined pensions and new cars they helped build, were emblems of the 20th-century American middle class.

That era is gone—and along with it, for many Michigan residents, went the family cottages. What’s left is a core of hard-bitten residents who couldn’t be more disconnected from the political system.

In December 2014, I stopped by northern Michigan diner for breakfast. It smelled like bacon and wet socks. I sat at one table, scrolling through Twitter as news broke from Washington that the economy is on a supposed upswing. At four other tables sat five regular customers sharing a single conversation.

“I leave my Christmas lights on for two hours—tops,” said the waitress, flitting between regulars with a pot of off-brand coffee.

“An hour for me,” said the local cop. The farmer at the next table nodded his head, “That’s about all I can afford, too.”

In Washington and New York, people celebrate economic numbers. In Michigan, people number the minutes they can afford Christmas lights.

Omitted from Fournier’s reporting: “Under my plan. . . electricity rates will necessarily skyrocket.”

UPDATE: From the comments:

Let’s be very direct here. These are exactly the people that Obama was promising to help out 8 years ago, and their lives have gotten worse, not better. This necessarily has to mean some combination of the following three premises are true:
1. Obama was disingenuous in his pledges to help the working class
2. Obama is ineffective/incompetent at accomplishing his promises
3. Obama’s policies themselves are the wrong policies to help the working class
A pretty unflattering picture even before we “embrace the healing power of ‘and.'”

Indeed.

ANSWERING THE IMPORTANT QUESTIONS: “Does feminism require vegetarianism? This is something I am asked about often.”

“Bonus question: ‘Is meat consumption a heterosexual thing?'”

 

VIDEO: MAKING MACHINE-GUN BACON WITH TED CRUZ. “Ladies and gentlemen, your Iowa Caucus winner:”

Related: Cruz Tops Trump; Rubio Nearly Overtakes The Donald Dem race too close to call as O’Malley decides to drop out.

I STILL BELIEVE IN AMERICA: Bacon shot glasses dipped in chocolate and filled with whisky.

THEY CAN’T VET TERRORISTS, BUT THEY’VE GOT TIME FOR THIS: FBI offers $5,000 reward after bacon found at Vegas mosque.

Put a crucifix in urine, meanwhile, and you can get an NEA grant.

THE SCIENCE IS SETTLED. DON’T YOU CARE ABOUT THE PLANET? Carnegie Mellon study finds eating lettuce is more than three times worse in greenhouse gas emissions than eating bacon.

WELL, IT’S BECAUSE OF ALL THE BACON WE EAT. WHICH MAKES IT HARAM: “The American Blood Is Best, and We Will Taste It Soon.”

MIZZOU AND THE MASTER OF OUR UNIVERSE: “Ironic his name is Wolfe. The incidents surrounding University of Missouri president Tim Wolfe’s resignation following protests of racial insensitivity on campus might as well be plot points in a novel by Tom Wolfe. They are certainly as funny,” Matthew Continetti writes at the Washington Free Beacon: 

The graduate student on hunger strike against oppression is the son of a millionaire railroad executive. The administrators who gave in to the radicals’ demands did so not out of sympathy or solidarity but out of fear of a football strike. The professor who called for “muscle” to help her expel a reporter from a protest held a “courtesy post” in the department of journalism. The details of the saga—including, and I am not making this up, a “poop swastika”—read like a missing chapter of Wolfe’s 2004 novel I Am Charlotte Simmons.

I don’t know if he invented it, but it was through Tom Wolfe’s 1973 anthology The New Journalism that I discovered the phrase “Muggeridge’s Law,” named after British author Malcolm Muggeridge. As Wolfe wrote, “We live in an age in which it is no longer possible to be funny. There is nothing you can imagine, no matter how ludicrous, that will not promptly be enacted before your very eyes, probably by someone well known.”

And that’s happened to Wolfe as well. As he noted a couple of years after Bonfire of the Vanities was published in the fall of 1987, Al Sharpton, who became notorious almost concurrently with Bonfire’s release for ginning up the Tawana Brawley fable makes Bonfire’s fictitious press-hungry shakedown artist Rev. Bacon look like “a little divinity student” in comparison.

Similarly, having reread 2004’s I Am Charlotte Simmons a few months ago, I was struck by how its nonstop sex and booze debauchery now almost reads like the good ol’ days of “higher learning,” in comparison to the past couple of years. Not the least of which, the false rape accusations by Rolling Stone, followed concurrently by Emma Sulkowicz wandering around the Columbia campus with a mattress — all the way to graduation! — before releasing her own sex tape; a real life walking self-satire Wolfe would have never dared to have dreamed up.

Charlotte also contains this mock “Who’s Who”-style biography on one of that novel’s fictitious professors, which helps to describe one aspect of today’s college craziness:

Victor Ransome Starling (U.S.), Laureate, Biological Sciences, 1997. A twenty-eight-year-old assistant professor of psychology at Dupont University, Starling conducted an experiment in 1983 in which he and an assistant surgically removed the amygdala, an almond-shaped mass of gray matter deep within the brain that controls emotions in the higher mammals, from thirty cats. It was well known that the procedure caused animals to veer helplessly from one inappropriate affect to another, boredom where there should be fear, cringing where there should be preening, sexual arousal where there was nothing that would stimulate an intact animal. But Starling’s amygdalectomized cats had gone into a state of sexual arousal hypermanic in the extreme. Cats attempted copulation with such frenzy, a cat mounted on another cat would be in turn mounted by a third cat, and that one by yet another, and so on, creating tandems (colloq., “daisy chains”) as long as ten feet.

As Mickey Craig and Jon Fennell wrote in “Love in the Age of Neuroscience,” their review of I Am Charlotte Simmons in the New Atlantis in 2005:

The setting of I Am Charlotte Simmons is truly “postmodern” — a world dominated by Nietzsche and neuroscience, a world which has jettisoned the moral imagination of the past. Not only is God dead, but so is reason, once understood as the characteristic that distinguishes man from the rest of nature. We now understand ourselves by studying the behavior of other animals, rather than understanding the behavior of other animals in light of human reason and human difference. We learn that it is embarrassing for any educated person to be considered religious or even moral. Darwin’s key insight that man is just another animal, now updated with the tools and discoveries of modern biology, has liberated us from two Kingdoms of Darkness. Post-faith and post-reason, we can now turn to neuroscience to understand the human condition, a path that leads to or simply ratifies the governing nihilism of the students, both the ambitious and apathetic alike.

And the rush to nihilism really has been this week’s leitmotif hasn’t it? Welcome to “A New Age of Antiquity,” as John O’Sullivan of National Review dubbed the 21st century, based upon his perceptive reading of Back to Blood, Wolfe’s most recent novel.

QUESTION ASKED AND ANSWERED:

● “How much is liberalism like a religion?”

—The subhead of Tyler O’Neil’s new article today at PJ Media exploring “The Theology of Liberalism.”

● “And since every good religion needs a devil, [the World Health Organization] has chosen bacon.”

The last sentence of Robert Tracinski’s new article today at the Federalist on “The WHO’s Bacon Fatwa And The New Puritanism.”

As H.L. Mencken famously defined the term, “Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy,” which sums up the worst inner demons of the political correct, the socialist bureaucrat, and SJW rather well, doesn’t it?

 

THERE IS NO MATH IN J-SCHOOL: Bacon causes cancer? When pigs fly!

DA TECH GUY: Bacon Panic + Poor Math Skills = Easy Money.

BACON PANIC + POOR MATH SKILLS = EASY MONEY: “In other words, if this study is absolutely positively spot on correct eating that hotdog every single day for your entire life raises your odds of catching colorectal cancer by nearly but not quite….1%.”

MORE STEAK FOR ME: Bacon Panic + Poor Math Skills = Easy Money.  Brought to you by the same jokers who pushed “Diet for a Small Planet.”

THIS, OTOH, LOOKS LEGIT: Study: Red Meat Takes Years Off Of Cow’s Life.

WE SHOULDN’T ALLOW BACON, THOUGH, BECAUSE IF YOU GET BACON ARE YOU REALLY EVEN BEING PUNISHED? After firestorm, pork roast is back on the menu at federal prisons. “Federal officials had said that the ban on pork was not influenced by objection from Muslim inmates. But some Muslim groups reported receiving angry e-mails and social media posting following the decision.”

A THIRD OF VEGETARIANS OWN UP TO EATING MEAT ON NIGHTS OUT, claims the London Independent:

Two in five of 1,789 vegetarians questioned owned up to treating themselves to a sneaky kebab after a few drinks.

And one in three said they indulged in meat every time they went out drinking.

Twenty-seven per cent of the lapsing veggies said they ate bacon, while 19 per cent opted for fried chicken and 14 per cent confessed to munching on sausages.

George Orwell, who railed against his fellow socialists’ obsession with vegetarianism in 1937’s The Road to Wigan Pier, noting with anger that “One sometimes gets the impression that the mere words ‘Socialism’ and ‘Communism’ draw towards them with magnetic force every fruit-juice drinker, nudist, sandal-wearer, sex-maniac, Quaker, ‘Nature Cure’ quack, pacifist, and feminist in England,” wouldn’t be much surprised by their hypocrisy after knocking back a few.  Plus ça change.

CHANGE: ‘Who needs this?’ Police recruits abandon dream amid anti-cop climate.

Police departments face a recruiting shortage amid a growing anti-cop mood that some fear has taken the pride out of peacekeeping and put targets on the backs of the men and women in blue.

Open calls for the killing of police have been followed by assassinations, including last week’s murder in Texas of a Harris County sheriff’s deputy. Instead of dialing back the incendiary rhetoric, groups including “Black Lives Matter” have instead doubled down at demonstrations with chants of “Pigs in a blanket, fry em like bacon.” Public safety officials fear the net effect has been to demonize police, and diminish the job.

“It’s a lot harder to sell now,” Jeff Roorda, business manager of the St. Louis Police Officers Association and former state representative, told FoxNews.com. “This is a very real phenomenon.”

Roorda’s colleagues witnessed the fierce, anti-police rioting that followed the police shooting last year of Michael Brown in nearby Ferguson, Missouri. Even though a grand jury and a federal Justice Department inquiry did not fault Ferguson Police Officer Darren Wilson, debunked claims that the cop killed Brown as he held his hands up and begged for his life have animated the Black Lives Matter movement as it spread around the nation.

Roorda, who spoke in defense of police in the aftermath of the Ferguson shooting, said protesters took to Twitter to promote a #KillRoorda hashtag.

“You no longer just have to worry about your life while in uniform,” he said. “Now you have to be worried about the well-being of your family,” he said.

Who could have seen this coming?

BECAUSE TO LEFTISTS, RACISM IS A SIN COMMITTED ONLY BY WHITES: Dennis Prager, “The Left Only Sees White Evil.”

In the past week, two television reporters in Roanoke, Va. — Alison Parker and Adam Ward — were murdered by a black man who hated whites, and a white police officer in Houston — Darren Goforth — was murdered by a black man. Neither crime has been labeled a hate crime. And no mainstream media reporting of the murders attributes either to race-based hate.

For the mainstream media, the Roanoke murders were committed by “a disgruntled former employee,” and regarding the Houston policeman, the media report that, in the words of The New York Times, “a motive for the shooting remained unclear.”

The disregard of anti-white hatred as the motive for blacks who murder whites even when the murder is obviously racially motivated comes from the same people who denied that the Islamist Nidal Hasan’s murder of 13 fellow soldiers at Fort Hood was religiously motivated. These people — all on the left — have an agenda: to deny black racism and Islamist-based violence whenever possible. Only white police and other white violence against non-whites is clearly racist — even when not. . . .

So, too, the mainstream media depicted the black murderer of eight white people at a Connecticut beer warehouse in 2010 as a man who had been angered by white racism, not as the white-hater he was. Under the headline “Troubles Preceded Connecticut Workplace Killing,” a New York Times article reported: “He might also have had cause to be angry: He had complained to his girlfriend of being racially harassed at work, the woman’s mother said, and lamented that his grievances had gone unaddressed.”

And a Washington Post headline read: “Beer warehouse shooter long complained of racism.”

The fact was that the man was fired for stealing beer from his workplace, and there was a video of him doing so.

The left denies black racism in another way. When a white racist murdered nine blacks in a Charleston, S.C., church this past June, the left and the media correctly stressed the murderer’s racism. Indeed, whenever blacks are killed by whites — which, it is worth noting, is many times less likely than a white being murdered by a black — and especially by white police officers, the left attributes the killings to racism. But when blacks kill whites, the left attributes the killings to guns. This is all reinforced by the left’s position that only whites can be racist, because only the powerful can be racist, and whites have all the power. . . .

The left has been supplying both victimhood and lies to black America. The lies are that America is a racist society — as the president of the United States himself has said, racism is “still part of (America’s) DNA” — that the greatest problem facing young blacks is racism, and that white (and even black) police routinely kill blacks for no reason other than racism. . . .

Those lies in turn produce the anger-inducing victimhood that pervades too much of black life. Just this past weekend at the Minneapolis State Fair, a “Black Lives Matter” group chanted, “Pigs in a blanket, fry ’em like bacon.”

Some blacks — as in Houston this past weekend and in Louisiana two weeks earlier when a black man murdered another white policeman — are taking this message literally and randomly murdering police officers. And some other blacks just want to kill whites, whether or not they are police. Such is the power of victimhood and lies.

There is a lot of blood on the left’s hands. And there will be more.

The far left notion that only whites can be racist has been part of Critical Race Theory (of which Obama has long been a proponent), which is a key component of Critical Legal Theory. CRT/CLT’s core philosophy is that whites have all the “power,” and design laws to keep minorities from getting any “power,” thus perpetually victimizing those minorities.  The far left needs hatred of whites and victimhood like fire needs oxygen; without them, its distorted view of law and society withers and dies.

The inherent evil of this far left philosophy should be obvious, as one of the founding fathers of the movement, Saul Alinsky–whose devotees include both Barack Obama and Hillary Clintonincluded in the beginning of his book, Rules for Radicals, the following statement of admiration for the community organizing talents of the devil:

“Lest we forget at least an over-the-shoulder acknowledgment to the very first radical: from all our legends, mythology, and history… the first radical known to man who rebelled against the establishment and did it so effectively that he at least won his own kingdom — Lucifer.”

The devil works in obvious ways sometimes. Hating other individuals simply because of the color of their skin–even if you think that brings them “power” or “privilege”–is racism. But at least two generations of Americans have been taught the opposite, thanks to the far left dominance of the academy. Prager is sadly correct when he ascribes growing black-on-white racial hate crimes to the far left’s “victimhood” narrative, as well as his conclusion that more bloodshed is likely to come.

READER PRODUCT PLUG: Reader Frank Snyder writes: “If you’re interested in plugging a great product on Amazon, you might want to consider Kelly’s Delight Maple Bacon Cane Syrup. It’s pretty amazing when used in cocktails or ice tea. Disclosure: The owner is a friend and former student of my business-professor wife. But put a dollop in some bourbon or a little on some vanilla ice cream and it speaks for itself.”

THAT TALKING POINTS MEMO IS “DISGUSTED” IS JUST A BONUS: Ted Cruz is making bacon with a machine gun.

MAKING A Bacon Potato Cheddar Tart.

ANJEM CHOUDARY WANTS YOU TO HAVE NO FUN, EAT NO BACON, TRADE NO STOCKS: Man, radical Islam morphed into Sacramento so slowly, I hardly even noticed. Or is it the other way around?

ANOTHER TAUBES / RIPPETOE SUCCESS STORY: Dr. Jim Ramsey writes:

Glenn: Three 1/2 week update: 17# wt. loss, wearing medium scrubs for the first time in 30 years, two notches on every belt, even my shoes are looser. Interestingly, my GI tract has calmed down, much less volume of stool with volume of leafy greens and veggies up. Urine is really concentrated and stinks with the ketotic state. Have gone from bourbon and coke to “on the rocks” and learning to like it. Have been busy at work, traveling, and only managing two workouts/week, and still the weight falls off. Drinking lots of Lacroix flavored water, and avoiding any sugary drinks. Backslid tonite though, I made steak fajitas from scratch, and there is no such thing as a low carb tortilla ! (They were fantastic) First time in three weeks that I’ve felt “stuffed” even though I’ve been shoveling down steaks, fish, shrimp, eggs, bacon, sausage for breakfast and dinner. Typical breakfast after a workout is three eggs over easy with five pieces of bacon or three pieces of sausage. Have finally gotten into Rippetoe’s “Starting Strength” and will begin lifting with my workout tomorrow. Thanks for the inspiration to jumpstart my weight loss, and I’ll keep you updated. Thanks again.

I’m not as strict on the low-carb thing as Taubes suggests, though I generally keep them down. But I’m not really trying to lose weight.

CHANGE: Aging nuns, their orders no longer able to provide care, get care at Jewish nursing home.

Rooney and 57 other sisters, ages 73 to 98, have since adjusted nicely to their new accommodations and neighbors, becoming an active part of classes and continuing their ministry with good deeds like holding the hands of dying patients on the hospice floor.

“This is home now,” said 83-year-old Sister Grace Henke. “When we first came, we were fish out of water.”

It’s an unusual situation that reflects a reality of the nation’s Catholic nuns in the 21st century: Fewer young women are devoting their lives to religious orders, and those who are already nuns are aging and facing escalating health care needs.

There are now more sisters over age 90 than under age 60, said Mary Gautier, a researcher at the Center for Applied Research in the Apostolate at Georgetown University. The center’s 2009 study found that 80 percent of the nuns in the country were over 60.

“Their model of caring for their older sisters is no longer sustainable,” said Robin Eggert, president of the Realm consulting group, which has worked with several nuns’ orders to find solutions.

Of course, there’s a downside: “I miss the bacon.”

WALTER RUSSELL MEAD: Bibi Is Back: The Consequences for U.S.-Israeli Relations.

Bibi’s win is another in a long string of Middle East failures by President Obama and will add to the belief by both our friends and our enemies in the region that the costs of being Obama’s friend can outweigh the costs of his enmity. Egypt’s President Mubarak thought he was Obama’s friend; so did his successor President Morsi. The Syrian moderate rebels expected their friend in the White House to back them. The Zionist Union thought that promising to work more closely with Obama was the ticket to an electoral win in Israel. Meanwhile, as Bibi can now testify, those who defy this White House don’t seem to pay much of a price: just ask Syria’s Assad or, for that matter, his patrons in Iran. ISIS has more visibility and power in the Middle East than al-Qaeda ever did, while the Sunni Arab tribes of Iraq who saved America’s bacon during the surge and who counted on American influence to protect their interests in postwar Iraq are being overrun by Shi’a militias. . . .

If Bibi’s election message is that the peace process as we have known it needs fundamental change and reshaping, he is right. But if his intention is to kill it, or even to proclaim a moratorium during which Israel will create so many new facts on the ground that the concept of a Palestinian state no longer looks viable, then U.S.-Israeli relations will continue to cool.

Yeah, I’m not sure anything Bibi could do would make Obama happy, except maybe die. And I don’t think the Palestinians have done anything to deserve their own state.

UPDATE: A reader emails: “I’ve been watching Obama’s growing hostility for years now. The Jewish analogy I have used for him is Pharaoh. If you recall in Exodus, the Jew-hating ruler was so bent on destroying the Jews, he ignored all of Mose’s warnings and destroyed himself and his country instead. The term for that is hubris. Self-defeating arrogance that puts yourself above Hashem. In my estimation, Obama has only experienced three plagues so far, with four lying in wait. He’s cursing the wind now and it won’t be long before he completely loses control. It should be quite a sight.”

HIGHER EDUCATION BUBBLE UPDATE:

And don’t forget the self-described “bacon-eating vegan” who was left shocked and tearful upon discovering that her degrees in “social justice studies” and “gender studies” have zero value in the job market. “My degrees mean NOTHING,” tweeted she. “I don’t even know how to process the reality that is my life now.”

Sorry, they took your money and left you with nothing. It happens.

TO CELEBRATE, I HAD AN OMELET FOR LUNCH: The return of the egg? New dietary guidelines may downplay cholesterol risks. With bacon, of course.

RICHARD FERNANDEZ ON JORDAN’S KILL-EM-ALL APPROACH TO ISIS:

There are no more knockouts in international relations; just a bare-knuckle eye-gouging brawl that go on for 100 rounds, with the man behind on points revived by speed and dextrose so that he can answer the bell. This is the humanitarianized conflict of today.

In the process, however, the stop-and-go fighting preferred by the elites builds up a huge head of primal hatred, which like a pustule that cannot be lanced creates an unreasoning yet understandable desire for revenge. This is what we see in Jordan’s threat. The balm of hashtags and candles finally fails lose their potency only to be replaced an almost desperate desire to end the conflict, whatever the cost, however great the brutality. The idea of an eternal stalemate, so beloved by lawyers, becomes unbearable to the public until it unleashes an unstoppable monster that neither lawyers nor journalists can control.

However illegal it may be to shoot the ISIS prisoners there will be a lot of cheering among the great unwashed if Amman executes the whole kit and caboodle. There is a point when people are finally all out of sympathy for Mughniyah and his human rights. It is when populations become tired of the lawyers that the real danger begins. The question is: how far are we from not giving a damn?

I think concerns about human rights and international law are cultural imperialism. ISIS’s behavior, and the Jordanian response, reflect the culture of the Arab world. It would be as insensitive of us to impose a western culture of lawyers and human rights on the region — or even to employ one there ourselves — as it would be to serve bacon at a mosque. Because no culture is any better than any other, and who are we to say that killing everyone in an enemy held city and building a pyramid of skulls outside is wrong — for them, or for that matter, for us?

Of course, on a smaller scale, if we don’t want to reach the point at which people are “tired of lawyers,” it behooves the lawyers to be less tiresome, and bossy.

INDEED THEY DO: In Wake of Rolling Stone Fiasco, UVa Officials Also Have Some Explaining to Do.

LAST-MINUTE STOCKING STUFFERS: Bacon Air Freshener.

Also: Bacon-Flavored Toothpicks.

OKAY, SO MAYBE this whole bacon thing has jumped the shark.

MY FAVORITE TWEET THIS WEEK: Made @instapundit s lamb and guiness stew again. Perfect meal for cold nights. I cooked bacon with the onion. Here’s the recipe. Bacon couldn’t hurt!

NEWS YOU CAN USE: How To Raise A Pig That Tastes Like Whiskey. “Whiskey-flavored bacon? Look, it was only a matter of time before someone tried this.”

Result, unsurprisingly: “It was hands down the best-tasting pig I’ve ever eaten.”

HIGHER EDUCATION BUBBLE UPDATE: Now VSU Is in Trouble. “Enrollment at Virginia State University in Petersburg is down by 550 students this year, and the historically black university is facing a $5.3 million shortfall, including a $2.4 million reduction in state support. . . . Norfolk State University, Virginia’s other public, historically black university , is facing difficulties as well, while St. Paul’s College, a private college, closed last year.” The HBCUs, founded when most schools didn’t admit blacks, have been in trouble for a couple of decades. Now, however, they’re also facing a secular decline in higher education as a whole on top of that.

HOME COOKING and the Left’s resentment of effort. If you’re poor, you should be preparing most or all of your food. It’s much cheaper. Plus:

I am a man who does most of the everyday cooking for my family. I don’t mean that I share the cooking; I do virtually all of it. Nor do I mean that I’m a stay-at-home dad. I work full-time, and then some. I bring home the bacon and cook it up in a pan. (And I look just like the guy in the stock image above. Really.) So I can say a little something about this supposed “tyranny.”

Which is, obviously, no big deal. Everyone does it and has been doing it since man first tamed fire. It’s not a hardship any more than any other aspect of life. You might as well write an essay on how difficult it is to get out of bed in the morning, or do the laundry, or mow the lawn, or keep track of the bills, or do a thousand other things that people do every day. Cleaning toilets is a real bummer, you know, so maybe that’s tyranny, too.

Well, you’ve just outlined the next month of Amanda Marcotte columns.

IT’S COME TO THIS: The War On Bacon Is Real.

HORRIFYING NEWS: Bacon is about to get really expensive.

You can always stock up. There’s even Tactical Bacon, if you prefer that.

I LOVE BENTON’S BACON from Madisonville, Tennessee. Here’s a short film about them.

THE HUFFINGTON POST HAS SEEN THE FACE OF EVIL: The Bacon Cheeseburger.

WANT YOUR RELIGION PROTECTED FROM DESECRATION? ACQUIRE A REPUTATION FOR VIOLENCE. Teenage girl sentenced to a year in jail for throwing bacon on a Scotland mosque. Hey, I don’t create the incentive structures, I just point ’em out.

IS THERE ONE FOR BEER, TOO? 17 Genes For Food Preferences Identified By Italian Researchers. There’s one for bacon, so. . . .

THE SCIENCE IS SETTLED: Grilling Over Charcoal Is Objectively, Scientifically Better Than Grilling Over Gas. I anticipate a lack of consensus. Though the bacon argument is pretty potent.

But see, Grilling Over Gas Is Objectively, Scientifically Better Than Grilling Over Charcoal.

NEWS YOU CAN USE: How To Make An American Flag Out Of Bacon.

I THOUGHT THEY JUST GAVE YOU $200 AND A NEW SUIT: Hacker “weev” demands bacon following prison release.

THE OBAMA ERA JUST GETS WORSE: Brace yourself: The bacon shortage is coming.

Just in case, I’m stocking up!

MY BACON DEFICIENCY IS BAD ENOUGH, NOW THIS: Five a day is not enough fruit and veg for best health.

HOW CAN YOU REALLY MOCK SOMEONE WHO SAYS THIS? “I’m not sure how healthy bacon is in general, but I know it’s incredibly delicious.”

SO WHEN I SAW THIS “SQUEEZ-BACON” ON FACEBOOK, I IMMEDIATELY WENT TO AMAZON, but came up dry. The closest they had was this, which wasn’t all that close. I’d try it, though. I already tried the Baconnaise.

squeezbacon

UPDATE: In the comments, several readers note that this is a hoax. But you say “hoax,” I say “missed market opportunity!”

HOW’S THAT HOPEY-CHANGEY STUFF WORKIN’ OUT FOR YA? (CONT’D): CBS News: Food Prices Soar As Incomes Stand Still.

ConvergEx market strategist, Nick Colas, said that mothers could tell the government a lot about inflation.

“Food inflation is far greater than the government thinks it is,” he said.

But the big problem for families: Wages are not budging.

“If my income isn’t going up, how am I going to keep up with inflation?” Singer asked. Median income is up only 1 percent a year. For Singer, that makes it hard to save for college tuition – which has been rising 6 percent to 8 percent every year for five decades.

“The price of college is terrifying and so we’re looking at cheaper schools or scholarships, I hope,” she said. “You know, ‘Run faster in track.’ That will really help me out a lot.”

Many are concerned that while economists paint a benign picture, middle-class families are quietly struggling.

You know who’s not concerned? President Obama, who cranks the thermostat, eats Wagyu beef, and golfs on private courses while moms like Jen Singer turn the heat down and only buy bacon when it’s on sale.

CULTURAL INSENSITIVITY: Cringeworthy French McDonald’s Ads Try, Fail to Poke Fun at Americans.

IN THE MAIL: From Wesley Morrison, I Would Like My Bailout in Bacon.

FOOD: Bacon Explosion: The BBQ Sausage Recipe Of All Recipes. “Now that your pork is well seasoned, it’s time to add more pork.”

COMING SOON, NEWS ABOUT HOW FISH ACTUALLY KINDA WANT BICYCLES? Why women still need husbands.

That women prefer part-time work is simply irrefutable. It was true back in 2007, and it’s even true among Ivy League graduates! Study after study, both here and abroad (the majority of women in the UK, Spain and other countries seek some combination of paid work and family work) shows women as a whole (the Sheryl Sandbergs notwithstanding) want multifaceted lives. They want balance.

And there’s only one way to get it: rely on a man’s more linear career goals. Unlike women, a man’s identity is inextricably linked to his paycheck. That’s how most men feel a sense of purpose. Indeed, research shows men see it as their duty to support their families even when their wives make as much money (or more) as they do!

Perhaps that’s because men can’t produce life the way women can—let’s face it: those are some serious shoes to fill—but they can produce the means to make a child’s life secure. As a nation, we dismiss this integral part of masculinity. But that doesn’t make it any less true.

So why not let husbands bring home the bulk of the bacon so women can have the balanced lives they seek?

Because women with husbands vote Republican. Single women dependent on the government vote Democrat. Thus, a plethora of policies and media tropes aimed at producing the latter.

EVERYTHING SEEMINGLY IS SPINNING OUT OF CONTROL: Milwaukee Aldi stores pull grapes after shopper finds black widow spider in container.

Plus: Potentially Deadly Spiders Found in Supermarket Banana. You never hear about this happening with bacon.

L.A. TIMES: Is It Time To End The War On Saturated Fat?

The British Medical Journal has issued a clarion call to all who want to ward off heart disease: Forget the statins and bring back the bacon (or at least the full-fat yogurt). Saturated fat is not the widow-maker it’s been made out to be, writes British cardiologist Aseem Malhotra in a stinging “Observations” column in the BMJ: The more likely culprits are empty carbs and added sugar.

Virtually all the truths about preventing heart attacks that physicians and patients have held dear for more than a generation are wrong and need to be abandoned, Malhotra writes. He musters a passel of recent research that suggests that the “obsession” with lowering a patients’ total cholesterol with statins, and a public health message that has made all sources of saturated fat verboten to the health-conscious, have failed to reduce heart disease.

Indeed, he writes, they have set off market forces that have put people at greater risk.

This will all be familiar to readers of Gary Taubes, of course.

I HAD FAITH THIS DAY WOULD COME: Math Proves Bacon Is A Miracle Food.

SCIENCE: Math Proves Bacon Is A Miracle Food.

SEE, THE REAL STORY HERE IS bacon as key to the elusive birth-control-for-men. Is there anything it can’t do?

IT HAS ME THINKING ABOUT DINNER: Invasive Asian Tiger Shrimp Species, Now in the U.S., Has Scientists Worried About Ecosystem.

Adult tiger shrimp, whose native habitat stretches from southern Japan through Southeast Asia to South Africa, are known for distinctive black stripes, can grow to the length of a man’s arm and weigh as much as a pound. While the monster shrimp are just as edible as U.S. shrimp, marine scientists are trying to figure out whether they will upset local ecosystems and possibly supplant smaller brown and white shrimp, mainstays of the U.S. shrimping industry.

I have a solution. And some people seem to be catching on already:

Tiger shrimp sightings reported by U.S. commercial shrimpers increased in 2011, and then dropped in 2012 and 2013. But scientists and shrimpers agree the decline isn’t because the tiger shrimp aren’t there.

“We don’t turn them in anymore,” said Brian Schjott, 36-year-old captain of the Mr. Fic, a Bayou La Batre-based shrimp boat. “We just eat ’em.”

Shrimping last year off the East Coast, his crew pulled in tiger shrimp that were 14 inches long, he said. “We wrapped them in bacon and grilled them with sweet-and-sour sauce,” he said.

If only all our problems were this simple. . . .

NEWS YOU CAN USE: Better With Bacon: 10 Products for the Bacon Lover.

NEWS YOU CAN USE: 10 Products For The Bacon Lover.

IS THERE ANYTHING IT CAN’T DO? Bacon Therapy. “During her hospital stay, a total of 142 larvae were manually extracted, aided by the application of raw bacon which served as an attractant and petroleum jelly occlusion.”

NEWS YOU CAN USE: Homemade Bacon Tastes Amazing.

One of the great joys in life is good bacon. I have purchased great bacon from time to time. A lot of people avoid bacon. They are missing something. It’s part of a healthy diet! I eat bacon all the time, and my weight is down, along with my cholesterol. I never understood things like Turkey bacon.

When I wanted really good bacon, I went to The Butcher and Larder. He makes his own. Online at Instapundit, I read that you could make bacon at home. . . . It tastes amazing. I threw some photos up on Instagram, Twitter and Facebook @pointsnfigures. It might be some of the best bacon I have ever had. There is no way it lasts a week in my home. My next move is to go to Butcher and Larder and buy some more fresh belly. You have got to try making bacon at home. You won’t buy chain grocery store bacon again.

So there you are.

I CAN DIE HAPPY NOW: Bacon Jam.

IS THERE ANYTHING IT CAN’T DO? 105-year-old woman says eating bacon every day is her key to long life. On Facebook, Tom Bell comments: “When looking for the causes of unrest in Mideast, do not overlook bacon deficiency among the principals. No bacon, no peace.”

AT AMAZON, bestsellers in military history.

UPDATE: Reader Anne Korin emails: “I just saw the military history books link and thought I’d plug a GREAT military history book by my colleague Gal Luft, titled Beer, Bacon, and Bullets: Culture in Coalition Warfare from Gallipoli to Iraq.”

Here’s a review.

PROGRESS: There Are Now Bacon Condoms To Go With Your Bacon Lube.

COMPANY RELEASES NEW BACON-FLAVORED CONDOMS: “I don’t think this what Bill Gates had in mind when he offered $100,000 to someone to invent the next generation condom.”

IN THE MAIL: From Ken Wheaton, Bacon and Egg Man. Life in a Bloombergian dystopia.

WELL, THERE’S AN ADMISSION IN HERE SOMEWHERE: Mike Seidman: Let’s Give Up On The Constitution. “Imagine that after careful study a government official — say, the president or one of the party leaders in Congress — reaches a considered judgment that a particular course of action is best for the country. Suddenly, someone bursts into the room with new information: a group of white propertied men who have been dead for two centuries, knew nothing of our present situation, acted illegally under existing law and thought it was fine to own slaves might have disagreed with this course of action. Is it even remotely rational that the official should change his or her mind because of this divination?”

I dunno. Does this mean we should ignore Roe? Or Miranda? And Baker v. Carr? And if the Constitution is this obsolete and “evil,” then maybe secession isn’t off the table after all? . . . .

UPDATE: I have some more concrete suggestions for constitutional improvement here. You can see me talk about them in this keynote speech from last year’s Harvard Law conference on constitutional reform here.

ANOTHER UPDATE: Reader Paul Berger writes: “The reason a politician or any public official shouldn’t just act in opposition to the Constitution whenever they feel like it? How about because they took an oath not to! If you don’t want to play by the long established rules – find a different game. But I’m just a regular guy in the real world and he’s a Georgetown professor writing in the NY Times, which I suppose speaks volumes about both of us.”

It’s beyond even that. Their entire authority comes from the Constitution, and is the only reason we aren’t entitled simply to ignore them, or hang them from a tree for their insolence. Take away that source of authority because you don’t like the constraints it involves, and you’re a lot closer to the tree. Those who think themselves above the law are not in a position to hide behind it.

MORE: On Facebook, Randy Barnett snarks: “I suppose this means the income tax could now be unconstitutional if we can just get 5 votes.”

MORE STILL: Reader Bill Bacon writes: “If, after all, the Constitution isn’t to be followed then doesn’t that mean we default to the Articles of Confederation? Don’t know about you, but I personally like the idea of having to get unanimous consent of the states to raise taxes….” Heh.

Related: New York Sun: The Times Gives Up. “It will be illuminating to see how far the Times takes its latest lament, particularly because these days the Left generally seems to see the Constitution as a threat more to the liberal than the conservative cause.” As I say, that’s an admission of sorts.

STILL MORE: Inevitably.

P.J. O’ROURKE: Dear Mr. President, Zero-Sum Doesn’t Add Up.

The worst thing that you’ve done internationally is what you’ve done domestically. You sent a message to America in your re-election campaign. Therefore you sent a message to the world. The message is that we live in a zero-sum universe.

There is a fixed amount of good things. Life is a pizza. If some people have too many slices, other people have to eat the pizza box. You had no answer to Mitt Romney’s argument for more pizza parlors baking more pizzas. The solution to our problems, you said, is redistribution of the pizzas we’ve got—with low-cost, government-subsidized pepperoni somehow materializing as the result of higher taxes on pizza-parlor owners.

In this zero-sum universe there is only so much happiness. The idea is that if we wipe the smile off the faces of people with prosperous businesses and successful careers, that will make the rest of us grin.

There is only so much money. The people who have money are hogging it. The way for the rest of us to get money is to turn the hogs into bacon.

Mr. President, your entire campaign platform was redistribution. Take from the rich and give to the . . . Well, actually, you didn’t mention the poor. What you talked and talked about was the middle class, something most well-off Americans consider themselves to be members of. So your plan is to take from the more rich and the more or less rich and give to the less rich, more or less. It is as if Robin Hood stole treasure from the Sheriff of Nottingham and bestowed it on the Deputy Sheriff.

But never mind. The evil of zero-sum thinking and redistributive politics has nothing to do with which things are taken or to whom those things are given or what the sum of zero things is supposed to be. The evil lies in denying people the right, the means, and, indeed, the duty to make more things.

Read the whole thing. Just remember: In a zero-sum society, the redistributors are a lot more important. . . .

UPDATE: Related: Playing the long game on the Fiscal Cliff.

GIRL TALK: I’m Paid Less Because I’m A Woman, But It’s Mostly My Fault:

A man is going to come home with the real bacon. Anything I did was just like extra credit.

I didn’t realize I unconsciously thought these things until I was a 28-year-old woman.

“You haven’t played your career out to its full potential because you didn’t have the stress of making as much money as possible,” my friend told me.

I rolled my eyes, but I realized he was right. First of all, it’s true that being a man who feels wholly responsible for providing for a family is as stressful as it is liberating. My father was fortunate, yet not. I’m sure he fought for raises twice as hard as I have because he really fucking had to. But I don’t have a wife and daughter, so all these years, when I have gone into work it has been with the understanding that I am so grateful to have a job at all, so excited to be in a workplace. I am less concerned with where my career is going or what my paycheck is.

The need to support a family focuses the mind wonderfully.

REMEMBER, JUST BECAUSE THE APOCALYPSE STRIKES there’s no reason to be without bacon!

WHAT EVERYONE NEEDS: Bacon Shaving Cream.

PROGRESS: Scientists Working On Very Important Project To Make Bacon Even Tastier.

JONAH GOLDBERG ON THE DEMOCRATS’ BOGUS CRIES OF RACISM:

One of the points of racial slander is to signal that only liberal policies are guaranteed to be non-racist (even when such policies were forged with racist intent, like the Davis-Bacon Act). This is why the Congressional Black Caucus insists on calling itself the “conscience of the Congress.”

That’s why policies like school choice are routinely denounced as racist, even though they’re largely aimed at improving the lives of inner-city blacks trapped in bad schools. Teachers unions don’t like school choice, ergo, it’s racist.

Any serious attempt by the GOP to win black votes won’t involve Republicans copycatting liberal policies. It will require going over the heads of black and white liberal slanderers to offer a sincere alternative to failed liberal policies on schools, poverty, crime, etc. The more effective that effort, the more the GOP will be called racist.

When Romney, whose father marched with Martin Luther King Jr., spoke to the NAACP, Michael Tomasky of the Daily Beast dubbed him a “race-mongering pyromaniac,” primarily for using the term “ObamaCare” — a term Barack Obama used himself.

Just imagine the attacks in store for a more effective Republican.

Indeed.

WELL, I guess my secret’s out.

UPDATE: Reader Joe Jackson writes: “I was less surprised by the turkey wrapped bacon than by the assertion that the Reynold’s household had ‘kitchen staff’.”

Kitchen staff? That would be, er, me. Though my daughter made potato salad and deviled eggs, and my niece made magnificent guacamole.

WHAT EVERYONE NEEDS: Bacon Band-Aids.

GOT A NICE LETTER from reader Tobias Truman who runs an online disaster-prep store. He sent me some Lifestraws and a bug-out bag — always nice to have another — and observes: “I’ve found our sales to be decent indicators of how the populace is feeling. While our Red-state sales have been steady after the election, our Blue-state sales have almost doubled. (Though folks in Puerto Rico still buy more supplies than any other as disaster-prep is a big part of church outreach there.) There’s no denying right-leaning folks are battening down the hatches in O-land.” Well, on the one hand, “do not take counsel of your fears,” but on the other hand, “be prepared.”

And I love this P.S.: “My wife and I are another Gary Taubes success story; thank you for your posts pointing us to him. My wife and I have lost 70lbs since summer . . . and we really do eat a LOT of bacon.” He’s worth a read.

THE PROBLEM IS NOT ENOUGH BACON: Q: Why don’t apes have bigger brains? A: They can’t eat enough to afford them. “Their argument is simple: brains demand exceptional amounts of energy. Each gram of brain uses up more energy than each gram of body. And bigger brains, which have more neurons, consume more fuel. On their typical diets of raw foods, great apes can’t afford to fuel more neurons than they already have. To do so, they would need to spend an implausible amount of time on foraging and feeding. An ape can’t evolve a brain as big as a human’s, while still eating like an ape. Their energy budget simply wouldn’t balance.”

MARY KATHARINE HAM AND KELLY MAHER: The War On Bacon.

NEWS YOU CAN USE: Another Reason Not To Fear Bacon.

UPDATE ON THE INSTACHICKEN RECIPE: ‘Tried your roast chicken. It was a hit with everyone. One suggestion: lay a couple of strips of bacon over the chicken before putting it in the oven (skip the butter if you do this). Bacon improves everything dontchaknow.”

ANIMAL FARM:  A farmer in Oregon was found dead inside his hog pen, and his body had been substantially eaten by the swine. Investigators don’t yet know if he died of natural causes and was then eaten by the large hungry beasts, or if the hungry beasts harbored malicious intent, a la George Orwell’s Animal Farm.

Makes you kind of rethink eating bacon, doesn’t it?  Nah– eat or be eaten!

GLOBAL DIAPER SHORTAGE: At least according to the Telegraph.  Rare metals, medicines, bacon… now diapers?  It’s the end of civilization.

 

JUST NBC THE SCHIZOPHRENIA: Note these dueling items at Newsbusters:

● “Economic growth grew at an incredibly sluggish 1.3 percent in the second quarter, revised down from 1.7 percent. According to business writer Jim Pethokoukis, this is ‘dangerously slow.’ However, NBC skipped the bad news for Barack Obama entirely. ABC allowed it a mere 21 seconds. CBS was the only network to allow the story a full report.”

● “Leno: ‘We Wasted Four Years Waiting For Obama To Do Something About The Economy.’”

Glenn already linked to Rand Simberg’s take on Leno goofing on Obama, which assumes that the general public is well aware of the basic underlying news story, even though the news department has completely ignored it.

I’m not sure how it will play out again this year, but I’ve seen this story before.

RELATED: Speaking of just NBCing the network’s schizophrenia, the corporatist network “debunks bacon shortage myth by citing … free-market economics,” Ed Morrissey notes at Hot Air.

OUR BRIEF NATIONAL BACON NIGHTMARE IS APPARENTLY OVER: “Hogwash! ‘Bacon shortage’ is a load of bull,” NBC reports — and while NBC certainly slings plenty of bull, this is one time I hope they’re right.

MORE ON THE IMPENDING BACON SHORTAGE.

I’d say it’s time to stockpile your tactical bacon. Or, if you prefer, Yoder’s canned bacon. Because you certainly don’t want to run out of bacon!

THE COMING BACON APOCALYPSE:  Yes, it’s true.  Brace yourself for the coming world bacon shortage.  Apparently pigs aren’t like rabbits, and they just ain’t havin’ enough babies no more.  But hey, there’s always Bac-O’-Bits, right?  Mmmmmm…. a nice filet, wrapped in Bac-O-Bits.  :)

 

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!  Not the Bacon!  Take the electricity, take the oil, but NOT the bacon!

MARY KATHARINE HAM: The War On Bacon.

STRONGER THAN THE DOLLAR: Oscar Mayer Proposes a New Bacon as a New Currency.

BASED ON QUESTIONABLE SCIENCE, Paul Quinn College bans pork in dining halls. Including bacon. Bacon!