JOHN PODHORETZ: “Oliver Stone’s Alexander, which opens today, isn’t just bad. It’s Springtime for Hitler bad. I haven’t guffawed this hard since I saw Airplane for the first time 24 years ago. This is one of the colossal catastrophes of all time.”

Maybe it’ll be a sleeper hit — a Plan 9 for the 21st Century! Followed by an Oliver Stone biopic starring Johnny Depp!