THE EXCITING LIVES OF L.A. TIMES COLUMNISTS: My wife is vaccinated. I’m not. Welcome to the new world of haves and have-nots.

In my house, we have a problem. My wife has been vaccinated; I haven’t.

Am I envious? Of course I am. Resentful? Yeah, some of that too. When she came home all cheerful after her second COVID-19 vaccine shot last week, I couldn’t help feel that she had crossed safely to the other side of a giant chasm, while I remained at the edge of the cliff.

Later, when she complained of a headache and some chills from the second shot, I was, perhaps, a tad less sympathetic than I could have been.

For a year we’ve been housebound together. But suddenly she was eligible for her shots and I was not. And now (or presumably very soon), she’ll be able to traipse off to a restaurant or a rave or an orgy or a national insurrection, while I’ll still be cowering at home hiding from the virus.

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And in what may be the biggest return to normality for the lucky people who’ve had their shots, the L.A. Times quoted medical experts Thursday saying that they can now “enjoy a sex life with other vaccinated people” outside their bubble.

I had no idea that L.A. Times columnists were such hard-partying types.