CHIPOTLE HIRES BILL NYE TO SCOLD YOU FOR EATING FAST FOOD:

If Chipotle really wanted to save the earth, they’d go out of business altogether. Just shut it all down and go live in a cave. Nothing is more sustainable than failure. Take it from someone who knows.

Here’s an idea for a restaurant: You sell me food and I eat it. You provide an array of items, as many or as few as you think you can manage — let’s call it a “menu” — and you don’t try to make me feel guilty about the item(s) I select. I give you money, you give me food, and then you leave me in peace while I eat. Then I go away and I may or may not come back, depending on how I felt about the experience. Sound good? Maybe we could try that.

It’s an idea so crazy, it just might work. In the meantime, I’m going to continue to avoid eating at Chipotle all together — if only to help in their goal of keeping their carbon footprint as low as possible.