July 12, 2020

ROB LONG: The Devil Wears Prada: CDC Edition.  

Miranda Priestly: (eyes flash, angry muffle)

Subtitle: “Something funny?”

Andrea: (shrugs, makes equivocating rumbles from behind her mask)

Subtitle: “No, no, nothing. Y’know, it’s just that both those antiviral caftan hoods look exactly the same to me. Y’know, I’m still learning about all this stuff.”

Miranda Priestly: (short angry bark)

Subtitle: “This ‘stuff’?”

The room freezes. Terrified assistants, eyes darting in terror.

Miranda Priestly: (a series of muffled words and noises conveying contained rage)

Subtitle: “Oh . . . okay. I see. You think this has nothing to do with you. You go to your closet and you select, oh, I don’t know, that drab blue mask, for instance, because you’re trying to tell the world that you take yourself and COVID-19 too seriously to care about what you put on your face to hold the droplets in. But what you don’t know is that that mask is not just blue, it’s not turquoise, it’s not lapis, it’s actually cerulean. And you’re also blithely unaware of the fact that, in 2020, Oscar de la Renta did a collection of cerulean face wraps. And then I think it was Yves Saint Laurent . . . wasn’t it? Who showed cerulean military nose plugs?”

Miranda holds up an antivirus caftan.

Miranda Priestly: (a soft aside muffle to an assistant)

Subtitle: “I think we need some nose plugs here.”

Heh. Read the whole thing.

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