February 25, 2020

21ST CENTURY RELATIONSHIPS: Emily Halnon: My boyfriend’s wedding dress unveiled my own shortcomings over masculinity. “Those feelings illuminated some unanticipated boundaries of where I define attractiveness in men and when I still crave traditional masculinity. I realized I wanted less dress and more flannel shirts, trucker hats and sandstone Carhartts. . . . My boyfriend’s wedding dress pushed me to perform a scrupulous inventory of my deepest ideas about masculinity and helped me identify my shortfalls as a woman who wants to help rewrite gender norms. As I went through this exercise, I chatted with a handful of girlfriends about it, who could all identify their own small hang-ups with masculinity: their need for men who are bigger and taller than they are, or who are better than them at sports, or who don’t cry in front of them.” It’s hilarious, and sad, that she’s been conditioned to feel guilty about this.

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