December 8, 2019

GREAT NEWS: The Peloton Wife Is Safe, She’s Leaving Her Husband, And She’s Drunk As Hell.

Imagine a Peloton wife ad multiverse across 10 different brands tracing her path to freedom. In the final ad she’s on trial for his murder because he reacted … badly to their break-up, of course. She’s nervously sipping a White Claw at the defense table when the jury comes in. Verdict: Not guilty, says the foreman, because “ain’t no laws when you’re drinking Claws.”

Dynamite. I’m willing to write the whole series for a modest fee.

The Aviation [Gin] ad is titled “The Gift That Doesn’t Give Back,” by the way, a direct reply to the title of the Peloton ad. At the rate she’s drinking in the clip, I feel like this gift actually might give back before the night’s over.

Heh, indeed. Read the whole thing.™

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