BUT OF COURSE: Strippers allegedly used sex toy on Hunter Biden at NYC’s Hustler Club. “During one particularly wild night, workers suspected Biden — son of former Vice President Joe Biden, the frontrunner in the Democratic primary race to challenge President Donald Trump — was high, and he was warned that drugs weren’t allowed on the premises, sources said. That same night, a worker had to be sent out to purchase a dildo so the gals could use it on Hunter, sources said. It’s unclear if the club didn’t have a similar device on hand or if he insisted on a brand-new one fresh out of the package.”

UPDATE: From the comments: “You can call him Steely Dan.” Plus the suggestion that that’s too obscure a reference for this crowd. But is it, really?