BREAKING: White House Involved In Stunning Plot Of Murder And Bribery — UPDATE: Never Mind. It Was During The Obama Administration. Deleting.

Since this doesn’t involve Trump and instead is just on some minor issue with Obama (who probably knew what he was doing), we’re just going to go ahead and delete this completely irrelevant story and replace it with analysis of the latest Trump tweet. Can you believe what he just said?

From the Babylon Bee, America’s Paper of Record.

UPDATE: “We apologize for the fault in the reporting. Those responsible have been sacked,” the Bee adds.

A Møøse once bit my sister… No realli! She was Karving her initials on the møøse with the sharpened end of an interspace tøøthbrush given her by Svenge — her brother-in-law — an Oslo dentist and star of many Norwegian møvies: “The Høt Hands of an Oslo Dentist”, “Fillings of Passion”, “The Huge Mølars of Horst Nordfink.”