KURT SCHLICHTER: Snit Romney: I want my vote back, Mitt. Give me back my vote.

In 2012, I voted for this insufferable establishment icon, this inept goof who the Democrats wish every Republican would emulate. Some nights, I wake up sweating and screaming when I relive it in my nightmares. I should have taken my ballot, lit it on fire and flushed it down the Schiffhole.

But Romney does serve a purpose, as hard as that is to see through his pathetic antics. His perpetual groveling for approval – including, hilariously, from Donald Trump himself who just broke him right in front of our eyes over the Secretary of State gig – is so shameful and cringe-iliciously embarrassing that it obscures the vital role this shiny doofus can play for conservatism.

He’s a perfect conservative cautionary example.

This is Mitt.

Mitt’s a loser.

Don’t be like Mitt.

Harsh, but fair. Plus:

He’s doing it right now. He’s John Kasich with a job and a dad who was most definitely not a postman.

It’s his weakness that really grates, the pseudo-gentlemanly submissiveness to the abuse of the elite we saw for far too long among our alleged True Conservative™ betters. We’ve learned that “being the bigger man” and not fighting back were not some sort of higher principle being put into action but were, rather, the manifestation of the weakness inherent in the conservatives of the cruise ship class. Candy Crowley humiliated him in front of the entire country and he just took it. Well, we’re sick of just taking it. He and his human puffball ilk are why we said “Ahoy” to Donald Trump.

Also harsh, but fair. Though still kind of charitable, given his behavior.