KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEF: Epstein’s Death Just Got Weirder Shocked Face Edition. “At this point one might run the risk of actually spraining something while trying to avoid a conspiracy theory. Another few days of coincidences piling up the way they have been since Saturday and investigators are going to have to wear hazmat suits to wade through the toxic b.s.”

RELATED? Seen on Facebook: “While the medical examiner was on lunch break today, Epstein cremated himself.”