July 17, 2019

BUT OF COURSE: Compassionate Christian Votes For Government To Steal Money From His Neighbor And Give It To The Poor.

A lot of Christians are criticized for not being very compassionate to the poor. But you can’t say that about Larry DeManson, a local believer who is so committed to charity for those less fortunate than himself that he always votes for government to steal money from his neighbor and give it to the impoverished.

“The Bible calls us to take care of the poor,” he told reporters, “but that’s tough because it costs money. But then I was looking over at my neighbors and realized they have more money than I do—why not just vote for the government to confiscate their wealth and give it to the poor? Problem solved.”

DeManson no longer has a guilty conscience whenever he sees people in need.

“I don’t personally have to do anything,” he said. “The government does it for me.”

It’s the Babylon Bee, so it’s satire. Sort of.

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