THE LEFT IS 100% RESULT-ORIENTED: The Left is preparing either to praise or vilify white women, depending on today’s results.

The Right has a steadfast fall guy, rightly or wrongly, in media bias. We’ve seen the Left, instead, try to reinvent excuses for the past two years. But it initially chose fake news, only to realize that Republicans would effectively hijack it. Then came Russia, followed by the laments of the electoral college.

Leading up to today, two narratives have emerged from the Left. First is the statistically probable one — namely that the blue wave is significantly contingent on suburban white women swinging left, in tandem with voter turnout. On the other side of the coin is the excuse: If Democrats lose, it’s because fragile, complicit white women couldn’t leave the kitchen long enough to vote against their husbands.

This isn’t a straw man. It’s their actual argument. Tamika Mallory, Women’s March organizer and Louis Farrakhan BFF, calls the demographic trend of white women voting for Republicans their ” Becky situation.”

“Dear white women: Here’s how to step up for women of color,” wrote Victoria Rodriguez at Mashable. (Spoiler alert: Vote “intersectional,” read: Democrat.)

Pod Save America warned the “47 percent of White Women who didn’t sell us out” to convince the 53 percent who voted for Trump to go blue.

Best yet, Jen Kirkman warned white women, “Vote like your husbands aren’t watching.” Because naturally, all white women still live in a kitchen in Victorian England. Or modern-day Iran.

And as for the white women who don’t follow the blue line? Ex-GOP strategist Cheri Jacobus says they are a part of his “rancid, racist base,” comprising solely of “uneducated white men ( and the women who make them their sandwiches).”

To be fair, the Insta-Wife makes an awesome sandwich. She sent me off with one for the plane last weekend.