NEXT QUESTION: WHAT IF NAPOLEON HAD A B-52 AT THE BATTLE OF WATERLOO? In a Mass Knife Fight to the Death Between Every American President, Who Would Win and Why?

“Zachary Taylor: ‘Old Rough and Ready’ had a 40-year military career fighting men armed with hatchets. I like his odds in a knife fight. I really do. Top 10 for sure. Top 5 is not unrealistic. This is a man to watch, folks. If Lincoln and Jackson give him an inch, he’ll bury six inches between their ribs before Roosevelt righteous-indignation’s him to death.”

See, this kind of deep-think is what the Internet was supposed to be for.