NOT FROM THE ONION: Hip health freaks think smoking is cool again. “The act of smoking is like a meditation practice. You’re consciously breathing in and exhaling.”

Who are these people? Well, here’s one: “Thirty-two-year-old Ashley Arenson, who splits her time between Bushwick and Berlin.” There’s a photo, but let’s be honest: You already see her in your mind, and what you see looks just like the photo anyway.

UPDATE (from Ed): “It’s tobacco — it’s one of the healthiest things you can put into your body,” as the Sleeper diet inches ever closer: