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February 4, 2017

AUDI’S MESSAGE TO AMERICA: “Money and breeding always beat poor white trash. Those other kids in the race, from the overweight boys to the hick who actually had an American flag helmet to the stripper-glitter girl? They never had a chance. They’re losers and they always will be, just like their loser parents. Audi is the choice of the winners in today’s economy, the smooth talkers who say all the right things in all the right meetings and are promoted up the chain because they are tall (yes, that makes a difference) and handsome without being overly masculine or threatening-looking.”

Plus: “In the words of the infamous rap song, the fat boys are back. Look at this kid. Look at the vacant expression of malice. If you want to know how the upper-middle class sees their inferiors, this is a good snapshot of it. Let’s get another shot of the kid so you can see just how chunky he is. Chunky means poor.”

And: “Ah, here’s Dad, the ‘Mary Sue’ of Audi customers. The tallest person in the crowd — tall means rich — and effortlessly handsome, dressed in the exercise mufti of the NorCal leisure set. Note that he’s surrounded by black people, who are shorter and smaller than him. As we’ll see, there are no black kids in this race. The African-Americans are just here to play a supporting role. It’s fabulously, hilariously racist, but it’s only visible for a moment, just enough to reconfirm your subliminal perceptions.”

UPDATE: Explained: “When Audi committed to this ad Hillary was going to be president.” They chose . . . poorly.

ANOTHER UPDATE: From the comments: “Audi just draped a gigantic boy-hating ‘girls rule boys drool’ banner over every Audi dealership, every Audi car and every Audi driver. Not just disgusting, but corporate suicide I predict. Hey Audi: take your rotten Merkel-mobiles back to your land of ass-in-the-air submission to Islam. We don’t want you morons here.” (Bumped).